One loss too many
by gibbsrossi
Summary: Nate suffers yet another loss...can he cope with it, can the team help him through it or will he lose the team and himself...Team Fic and N/S
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It had been quite for the last three weeks. They had not taken another job and each member of the team was off on their own, Hardison had gone to visit his Nana, Parker was somewhere, nobody quite knew where, although Nate presumed off stealing something or the other. Eliot was having a 'boys' vacation at some fishing lodge with his service buddy's and Sophie was vacationing with Tara. Nate had elected to spend the time at home in Portland. It was three weeks since he had buried his father and he had moved the team to Portland. Sophie had not wanted to go but Nate had told her he needed time to think, time to get things straight in his head. Eventually they had all agreed to meet back at Nate's new home and Leverage's new HQ in four weeks and then they would decide what to do from there. Three weeks went quickly, three peaceful harmonious weeks that Nate spent making his plans. He had big plans, as he had alluded to Sophie at the dam, big plans for himself and the team.

On the Monday of the fourth week, everything changed. Nate was busy reviewing some client files in preparation for the teams return when his cell phone rang.

"Nathan Ford?" the voice on the other side of the phone asked almost hesitantly.

"Yes…" Nate replied his senses on high alert as he felt his stomach tighten as if he knew something was not right.

"Mr. Ford, my name is Dr. Chris Prichard of Mercy General Hospital in Los Angeles. Do you know a Margret Collins?"

"Maggie…yes…she is my wife…ex-wife…has something happened?" Nate replied quickly fear biting at him.

"Yes Mr. Ford, I am afraid Mrs. Collins was in an automobile accident and has sustained some serious injuries. Would you be able to come to the hospital?"

"Yes…yes of course…I will be there as soon as I can…how bad is it?" Nate responded urgency and fear filling his voice.

"I'm afraid it is very bad Mr. Ford. You are listed as her next of kin and her medical proxy. Mr. Ford you need to get here as soon as possible." The doctor responded automatically, with little to no emotion in his voice.

"Fine…I am leaving now, I should be there within the next few hours, I will catch the first flight out." Nate said knowing that the doctor was not going to give him any further details over the phone. At least it was not the morgue or the police phoning. Maggie was still alive, obviously in bad shape, but still alive.

"Very well Mr. Ford we will be expecting you. You can ask for me at reception when you arrive."

"Very well, thank you Doctor." Nate said as he was moving into his room to start collecting his clothes that he would need for the trip. He dialed the number of the airport as soon as he had ended the call with the hospital and arranged the earliest flight to LA he could get. It left in two hours so he stuffed his clothes into a bag and almost ran out of the house. His mind was spinning; he replayed the conversation with the doctor over in his head. He was Maggie's medical proxy…if they wanted him there for that reason well it could only mean…he shook his head at the thought that suddenly sprung into his head. No, he was not going allow himself to go there. He thought briefly about contacting the rest of the team, but decided against it for now. He would go to the hospital and see what the situation was. Then he would let them know.

As Nate sat in his seat on the plane taking him to LA he took a sip of his drink and wondered why, why this had to keep happening to him…had he offended the Gods in some way. Where they punishing him for something he did or did not do? He shook his head ruefully and ordered another drink from the passing steward then sat back in his seat and stared blankly out of the window, trying to shut out all the terrible scenarios that were playing through his mind.

**Hope you enjoy my new story…I am sorry it took so long to post but I have been away in Kenya…please review and let me know what you guys think, they are really appreciated as always.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

When Nate arrived at the hospital he went straight to the reception desk and asked for Doctor Chris Prichard. The nurse told him to wait as she called him and showed him to the waiting area. As Nate sat waiting for the doctor he watched the people move in and out of the hospital. He hated hospitals. He hated everything about them, the smell, the noise and most of all he hated the memories they brought. Finally Dr. Prichard made his appearance. He introduced himself to Nate and then told him to follow him. Nate did as he was asked and walked swiftly behind him into the bowels of the hospital to the ICU section. Once there the Doctor showed him into a private room which contained one bed and a bank of machinery. Nate's heart seemed to stop momentarily as he saw her lying on the bed. There were pipes and tubes protruding from every part of her, her mouth and face obscured by the respirator that was keeping her breathing. The slow beeping of the heart monitor and the rhythmic swooshing of the respirator filled the room. Nate drew in a deep breath and approached the bed. She lay completely still, her face pale as if she had been drained of her blood. Nate cast his eyes to the doctor who stood on the other side of the bed.

"I am sorry Mr. Ford but there is nothing else we can do for Mrs. Collins. The injuries she sustained in the accident were too severe. The only thing that is keeping her alive at the moment are these machines." The doctor paused for a moment letting the information sink in. "As you hold her medical proxy we need your permission to remove the machines."

"Turn off the machines…" Nate repeated looking from the still form of his ex-wife to the doctor. He was asking him to give him permission to kill his wife. Nate blinked a few times and swallowed hard. This was not a decision he ever wanted to make but he knew what Maggie would want. He knew that Maggie did not want to be kept alive by machines. They had talked about this very situation, Maggie had made her wishes clear then and even though Nate did not want to, he knew what he had to do.

"Mr. Ford, we would also like to know if Mrs. Collins wished to be an organ donor." The doctor continued. The doctor could see the emotional turmoil on Nate's face and understood what he was going through. This was not the first time the doctor had had to give a family member bad news, or the first time he had had to ask one to remove life support. Every time he had to do it he could see the internal fight that went on in the person. He could see the horror that the doctor was asking them to effectively end the life of their loved one. But it was not ending life, the person was dead for all intense and purposes and the doctor knew that. He also knew that there was a chance that the tragedy that had befallen that particular family could save the life of another person with the organ donation. It was his job to remain as calm and cold and disconnected as possible and to convince the family member to do the right thing. "Mr. Ford, I know that this is difficult, but we need to know your decision as soon as possible. Mrs. Collins' death would not be in vain if you would agree to organ donation, she would be saving lives." The doctor said to Nate.

Nate looked up at the young man and fought back the tears as replied. "Yes…yes Maggie wanted to be a donor…you are sure…?" Nate stuttered, he wanted to make sure that there was no hope that Maggie would ever be coming back.

"Yes Mr. Ford. Mrs. Collins is gone. You are making the right decision believe me. I will get my nurse to bring you the forms that need to be completed for organ donation and for the removal of the life support. You are doing the right thing Mr. Ford." The doctor said and then left Nate alone in the room with Maggie.

Nate took Maggie's hand in his, it felt cold and lifeless. He let his tears fall unheeded now as he told her how much he loved her, how sorry he was for everything he had put her through with his drinking and Sam's death and the divorce. He told her how much he stilled loved her and cared for her. When he had finished he sat there and stared at her, still holding her hand tightly. He was sitting like that when the nurse entered the room. The nurse first gave him her condolences on his loss, which seemed odd to Nate because Maggie was still breathing, she was still alive. The nurse then gave him the forms and explained the procedure that would follow. He would not be allowed to be with Maggie when they took her off life support. As soon as he had said his final goodbye to her they would take her to the operating theatre and remove her organs for transplantation. Nate merely nodded and looked at the papers and the pen that the nurse offered him. This was final, he was signing Maggie's death warrant, or at least that was how he felt. He logically knew that that was not the case, that Maggie was already gone, it just…well it felt almost wrong. He shrugged off the feeling and signed the papers. The nurse thanked him and told him he could take as much time as he needed to say goodbye. Nate thanked her and then sat down again next to Maggie, taking her hand again as the nurse left the room. His thoughts turned to the team. He knew that Sophie and Maggie had become friends, good friends and he should let her know about this. He knew that the rest of the team liked and respected Maggie and that they too would want to know. He was losing somebody he loved again. Every time he got close, every time he allowed himself to love, every time he opened himself he lost. He lost Sam, he lost his Father, his mother and now Maggie…who would be next, Parker; Hardison; Eliot or….Sophie…he shook his head. No he could not think about that he could not even consider that possibility. He stood up and placed a gentle kiss on Maggie's forehead and whispered his final goodbye. Then he made his way out of the room. The nurse was waiting outside for him, a whole team of people entered the room as he left it to prepare her for the surgery ahead. Nate watched them enter the room and then walked away. He needed a drink and he knew exactly where the nearest bar was. It was the bar that he had gone to when…when Sam…he shook his head trying to drive the memory away. He walked swiftly out of the hospital and was at the bar in no time. He ordered a whiskey and when it arrived drank it down in one gulp. He then ordered another and told the bartender to leave the bottle with him. Taking the bottle he moved to a corner table and took out his phone. He needed to tell the team…

**Thanks for the reviews they are really appreciated. Please keep them coming and let me know what you think so far…**

**Hope you enjoy my new story…I am sorry it took so long to post but I have been away in Kenya…please review and let me know what you guys think, they are really appreciated as always.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

They buried her next to Sam. It was a simple ceremony. There were quite a few people in attendance, friends and some colleagues. Maggie had no other family after her parents died a few years ago and Nate was her only family left. Nate had remained aloof from the team since they had returned after he had contacted them. He had distanced himself from them, pulling away and not allowing contact. Sophie had tried, but she too was rebuffed, gently but firmly. He had spent his nights drinking and most of the day too. He confined himself to his room most of the time and none of them had tried to enter. Again Sophie had tried once but Nate had told her to leave. She decided that discretion was the better part of valor and retreated.

After the ceremony and they had laid Maggie to rest beside her and Nate's son, Nate had walked away. He had not said anything to them, just turned and left. Parker had wanted to run after him and so did Hardison but Sophie convinced them that he needed some time to think and get over what had happened. They had agreed and had gone out to dinner together giving Nate the time he needed. Then when they had all split up to go to their respective hotels, she made her way to Maggie's apartment where Nate had been staying since he had arrived in LA. It was silent, and dark. She opened the door almost hesitantly. She was not sure what she would find, although she was expecting him to be passed out with a bottle in his hand.

Entering the apartment Sophie suddenly felt a fear grip her. Something was very wrong. She called his name but got no response. She turned on the light and scanned the room. She did not see him. She moved swiftly down the passage and into the main bedroom, turning on the lights as she went and calling his name loudly. Entering the master bedroom she found that empty too. She turned and went into the spare bedroom and there found nothing either. Had he gone to a bar? Where the hell was he? Walking back into the living room she stopped as she saw a note propped up on the dresser beside the door. The writing on the envelope was undeniably Nate's scribble. She picked up the note which had her name on it. Turning it over in her hands she slowly opened the letter and began reading its contents. Her hand flew to her mouth as she read the note and tears welled in her eyes.

"Oh Nate…" She gasped and then grabbed her phone to call the rest of the team.

**Sorry for the short chapter and the time it has taken to post it…The next chapter will be up soon. Thanks for the reviews, please keep them coming, as always they are greatly appreciated.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Nate walked away from them at the cemetery. He knew he was walking away from them forever. He was walking away from the life that he had slowly built. A life that he knew they had been instrumental in him being able to build. He was walking away from the woman he loved, from the people that were his family. He knew this and his eyes swam in unshed tears. He had debated this over the last week. He had stayed clear of them, he had shunned them and he could see in their eyes, especially hers, that he had hurt them. They had given him his space. They had respected him enough to let him be. That was exactly why he had to walk away. He had just buried the woman he loved more than life at one stage, the woman he stilled loved but could not be with because of the loss of his son. He had loved Sam, he had lost him. He had loved Maggie, he had lost her. He had, even though he did not want to admit it, loved his father, he had lost him. He could not lose any one of his new family. He knew he could not face another loss. Just the thought of losing Sophie was more than he could bear to think of. He was weak, a coward that he also knew. He was walking away from the best thing in his life. He was walking away from his family. He would not lie to himself and tell himself it was for their sakes. He knew he was going to hurt them. Hurt her. He walked swiftly listening for their footsteps. He half expected them to come after him, he half hoped, despite himself, that they would. He heard nothing though, and even though everything told him to, he did not dare look back, his resolve would crumble he knew, he would stay and that was not what he had to do. He walked to his car, climbed in and drove away. It would be the last time he would see them, any of them again.

Sophie spent the twenty or so minutes waiting for the arrival of the team re-reading the note over and over again. She could not believe what he had done, what he was doing. As the minutes went by and she read the note again her anger grew. She was seething with anger by the time the rest arrived. Eliot, Parker and Hardison walked through the door twenty five minutes after Sophie's call. They had been together when she had called Eliot and they had raced across to the apartment immediately. Sophie did not tell them what it was about on the phone; just they had to get to the apartment as soon as possible.

"He's gone." She almost shouted as they filed into the room.

"What do you mean 'gone'?" Eliot demanded. He could see that she did not mean dead, she was not hysterical; she was angry more than anything else. He was sure she did not mean he had killed himself, which is what he was worried about immediately after receiving her almost hysterical phone call earlier.

"Gone…dammit he has walked away." She said in response and holding out the note to him.

Eliot took the note and read it slowly, then re-read it to make sure he had read correctly. Silently he then passed it on to Hardison who read it together with Parker.

_Sophie_

_Please tell the others that this is not about them, it is not about you either. When I said they were my family, my only family I meant it. The problem is Sophie I have realized now that I don't want a family. I am sorry. I know that I told you that I had plans, but they have changed. I don't want to be with you or them. Not now. I need to go away, I need to be alone. I could say that it was only for a while but that would be a lie. I am not coming back. I am done. I am sorry. _

_I know I have been harsh in this letter, and I don't mean to be. I just need you to understand and make the others understand that it is over. Whatever this was, whatever we were, it is over. _

_Please forgive me._

_Nate._

A myriad of emotions passed over Parker's face as she read the note. Tears rolled down her cheeks unheeded. She could not believe it. She could not believe that Nate would leave them. He did not want them, he did not want to be a family anymore…her world was being thrown into turmoil again. Another father figure was throwing her away and she could not bear it. Hardison looked lost, bewildered at what Nate had said, what he had done. He realized that Parker was now sobbing and he turned to her pulling her into a hug. He peered over her head at Sophie, his eyes questioning.

"What the hell is he thinking…?" Eliot asked angrily as he sat down heavily on the nearest chair.

"He…doesn't…want a…family…he doesn't…doesn't want…me...us." Parker answered between sobs.

"No Parker…he doesn't want to LOSE his family." Sophie said softly, her anger having dissipated somewhat as she watched the girl break before her. Yes she was angry, very angry, but that was not going to help Parker now. "Parker, he…" She stopped abruptly; she did not know what he was thinking. The only thing she was sure of was that he was drunk and morbid and thinking only of himself. He was sure as hell not thinking of any of them. How could he do this to them, to her? How dare he do this to Parker. He had given her something she had never really had, a father figure she could trust and rely on. Now he was walking away. Leaving her like all the others. Sophie felt an even greater anger building in her. She was going to find him, she was going to find him and make him understand what he had done. He had broken the trust of a woman who never trusted. Not before Nate had brought them together and made them a family. She would survive; Eliot and Hardison would survive, but Parker. Parker was breaking, Parker was dying inside and it was Nate's fault.

"He can't do this…" Hardison said still holding Parker tightly. He of all of them had wanted this from the beginning. Now Nate was breaking up their little family, a family he had made; brought together and built. Didn't he know that they would do anything for him? Didn't he know that he was the glue that kept them together? Didn't he know that they would be there for him through thick and thin, that they would back him, help him? Hell they even accepted his drinking and this is how he repaid them. He walked away. "I don't care how he feels… he can't do this to us." Hardison said softly.

"You're right he can't…and I am going to find him and tell him exactly that." Eliot said with a sudden determination. He understood. He understood because Nate was where he had been a long time ago. He did not want to stay with them because he was scared. He was scared of the way he felt about them. He was scared that he would have to lose one of them. That one of them would be taken away from him just like Sam and Maggie and his father. It was Nate that had brought Eliot back from the dark place he had been in. It was Nate that had given him a family to love and care for. It was Nate that had forced him to worry about somebody other than himself. Now it was Nate that was running and leaving and cutting himself off. Well he was not going to allow that. Nate would learn that having created this family he could not arbitrarily decide he did not want it anymore. He could not leave them just because he was afraid.

"Right behind you bro…" Hardison concurred. He pulled Parker closer and whispered in her ear that everything was going to be alright. They would find Nate and bring him back because they were a family and that was never going to change.

Parker pulled away from Hardison and wiped her tears away. She looked at Sophie. "We'll get him back…?" She stammered.

"Yes Parker." Sophie said standing and taking the woman into her arms. "Yes we will find him Parker and we will get him back." Sophie said running her hand gently through her long blonde hair.

"Hardison can we track him?" Eliot asked the Hacker.

"No…well, he left his watch, and changed his clothes; he also left his car and cell phone." Sophie answered for the Hacker. She had found his discarded items in the bedroom.

"Well that makes it harder, but I'll find him…" Hardison said with determination.

"Do you have any idea where he might go?" Eliot asked Sophie then.

"No, he won't go anywhere we might think he would…Nate is clever and determined. He doesn't want to be found, it is not going to be easy to find him."

"But we will…we will and we will make him come back to us." Parker said her determination growing. She was going to make Nate see that he could not leave them. He had no right too.

"Yes Parker we will." Sophie said looking from Eliot to Hardison to the young woman and seeing the determination in their eyes. She saw the anger and the hurt disappear. They all understood that Nate was not doing this to hurt them, even though that is exactly what he was doing. Nate was doing this because he thought this was the only way to protect himself from losing them. Nate was in a dangerous place now. He was alone, probably drunk, mourning the loss of a woman he loved and to add to that, he was now mourning the loss of his family. Ironically he had done to himself what he was afraid would happen to him in some other way. He had lost his family by his own hand. She was not sure how he was going to handle that when reality set in. When Nate fully realized what he had done she was afraid it would be just as bad as losing them to death, perhaps worse. They were going to find Nate and make sure he was alright and bring him back into their family. Then she thought and a hard look clouding her eyes as she contemplated it; then… she was going to give him hell.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review as all of them are greatly appreciated.**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Nate left the apartment with nothing. He knew Hardison had put tracers on some of their shoes, clothes and watches, not to mention their cellphones. He left everything he could think of that Hardison may have used. It took him five tries to write the note. He tried to write a nice one, but felt that would give them hope that he would come back. Eventually he decided being direct and harsh was the best way. He felt bad that he was hurting them but he still felt that this was the only thing he could do. He stood at the door and took one last look around his ex-wife's apartment. Images of her and Sam ran though his head. He shook his head slightly and pulled out the small bottle of amber liquid, downing a gulp he turned and left.

He was not sure where he was going, what he was going to do. He did not have much money on him; he smiled slightly to himself as he heard Eliot telling him he had not planned this one out very well. He only knew he had to get away. He had to leave. He had to leave them before they left him one way or another. He knew he could not go anywhere they would look for him. He had no doubt that once they were over the anger and the hurt they would look for him. He walked out of the apartment building and took a cab to the train station. He needed time to think, time to decide what he was going to do now. The best way to do that was to take a long train journey to nowhere in particular. They would never think he would do that he was sure. It would give him the time he needed to think. He asked the cabbie to stop at a local liquor store where he picked up a few bottles of whiskey. He knew he could not leave the county, Hardison would most certainly track him is he tried to cross the border. No he had to go somewhere they would not think of looking for him. He looked up at the board and picked a destination just based on the amount of time it would take to get there and the fact that he did not know the place. If he didn't know where he was going they sure as hell would not. Boarding the train Nate locked the door to his cabin and opened the first bottle of whiskey. He sat down and stared out of the window taking a swig from the bottle. It would take 2 days to reach his destination and he had till then to figure out what to do next.

**I know this is a very short chapter. I promise that the next one will be up soon. Thanks for the reviews and please keep them coming, they are as always greatly appreciated.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Nate had disembarked the train in a little town he could not remember the name of. He had stayed on the train for almost two days, most of that time he had spent drunk. Now he wondered the streets looking for a hotel that he could call home for the next while. He still had no plan. He still did not know what he was going to do, where he was going to go.

Sophie looked expectantly at Hardison. "Well…?" She asked when he ignored her, staring at his laptop instead.

"Well I got him leaving the building…" Eliot raised his eyebrow. "Traffic cam..." He said in answer to the unspoken question. "Anyway, he got into a cab. Now I hacked into the cab companies records and got that Nate had him drop him off at the train station."

"Train…Do we know which train, where it was going?" Sophie asked.

"Well yes and no…" Hardison responded.

"Dammit Hardison, just get on with it." Eliot growled at the Hacker.

"Ok…Ok…well I tracked him to the window that he used to buy the ticket." Hardison said throwing the image of Nate standing at the ticket window onto the screen. "You know we are watched all the time, I mean big brother and all that ain't no joke man..." Hardison said as he watched the image for a moment.

"Hardison…please just get on with it." Sophie asked softly her eyes not leaving the image of Nate. He looked old and tired.

"Ok well, he bought a ticket to Chicago, the problem is he could have got off the train anytime between here and there and we won't know." Hardison said. To emphasize the problem Hardison pulled up a map of the train track and flashing red buttons indicated places where the train stopped along the route. Most were small towns with no big city gadgets like traffic cameras.

"So we have nothing?" Sophie said with a tinge of disappointment in her voice.

"Not nothing no, I can tell you he did not get off in Chicago or any of the larger cities in between, they have cameras and facial recognition proved he did not get off anywhere in those places. That leaves…" Hardison turned to the screen again pressing a button which removed the larger towns and Chicago itself. This left only five flashing buttons on the screen. "Five places to look."

"Ok, so how are we going to do this?" Sophie asked looking directly at Eliot. He was their retrieval expert so he would take point on this one.

Eliot looked at her for a minute then moved to the center of the room. "Ok, well the only way to do this is to go to each of the five towns and look for him."

"Great…Road Trip…" Hardison said with glee.

Eliot merely looked at the hacker with that _'don't make me hurt you'_ look. Sophie looked exasperated and Parker looked confused.

"Where do we look, and what do we do if we do find him?" Parker asked.

"Well Parker, Nate is probably going to look for a place to lie low, a motel, hotel or boarding house. These are small towns, there can't be too many of them in each one." Eliot answered.

"Ok, ok and when and if we find him…?" Parker asked rather hesitantly.

"We make him see what he is doing is wrong Parker and bring him back home with us." Sophie answered for Eliot. She knew it was not going to be that easy. Nate was a stubborn man and he was doing the only thing he thought he could. Firstly she was not sure that it was going to be as easy as all that to find him. Nate was not stupid and even when drunk he could plan. He would know that Hardison would most likely track him in the end. He would not stay in one place too long.

"Great well let's go…" Parker said hoping of the counter she had been sitting on and grabbing her coat. The sooner they got Nate back the happier she would be. Nate was not going to leave her, leave them. She would make him see that he could not just up and leave his family; they would make him see that.

Nate walked down the street of the little town toward a small hotel. Suddenly two men emerged from the shadows of the building he was passing.

"Hey guys…" Nate said as they blocked his path.

"Shut up man and give us your money, watch, everything man…" The one man said his voice was dark and menacing. Nate could see they were both high on something; one of them was carrying a baseball bat.

"Now look here guys, I don't have…" Nate was cut off when the other man struck him hard on the head with the bat he was holding. Nate crumpled to the ground as the two men rushed up to him and started going through his pockets. Finding that Nate was not wearing a watch, nor did he have a cellphone or anything else of value in his pockets one of the attackers got angry. Taking Nate's wallet he saw that it had next to no money inside, a couple of hundred dollars maybe. The man put the wallet into his back pocket and walked towards the prone man.

"He don't have shit on him man…" The taller of the two men said in disgust and kicked Nate's body viciously.

"Come on man let's get out of here…" His friend said pulling his arm and dragging him away from Nate.

The reason for their flight was the vehicle that pulled up a few minutes after they left. The sheriff exited the vehicle and made his way to the inert form of Nate. He bent down and felt for a pulse. Finding one he checked Nate for any other injuries. Then he radioed into his office to get them to dispatch and ambulance. The ambulance arrived and loaded Nate up and took him to the local clinic. It was not a hospital in the truest sense of the word. It was a small clinic which had limited facilities. The doctor met the ambulance at the door and escorted the injured man into the clinic. An hour later he came out to talk to the Sheriff.

"Well Jack, the injuries aren't too bad. He's going to have a sore head and he has some broken ribs but that's it." Doctor Robert Green told the sheriff.

"Sounds good Doc. You let me know when he is awake; maybe he remembers who did this to him." The sheriff replied.

"Good, will do, he should be out for another couple hours."

"OK… well, just let Jenny know and she'll get me, I'm going to take a look around. These punks have to know they cannot get away with this." Jack Rupert said as he left the clinic.

"Will do Jack…be careful out there hey…" Green called to his friend as he left. This was the third time a visitor to the town had been attacked and robbed. He knew Jack was feeling bad about it and frustrated. He had some idea as to who it was doing it but could not prove anything. The two men the sheriff suspected were just plain bad and Green was worried for his friends' safety if he confronted them.

Three hours later Nate started to surface from the darkness. He opened his eyes tentatively, immediately closing them against the harsh light.

"Hey mister, that's right open your eyes for me…" Dr. Green said leaning over Nate and talking to him. "Come on mister, just open your eyes."

Nate did as he was bid staring into the sea green eyes of Dr. Robert Green with utter confusion.

"There we go mister. What is your name?" Green asked as Nate came fully awake.

Nate looked confused; he shook his head which brought a grimace of pain from him. He looked again at the doctor. He did not recognize him, he did not know him and worse than that he did not know how to answer him.

"I…I…don't know…" Nate stammered.

**Sorry about the delay in posting, life has been a little hectic. Reviews really appreciated as always.**


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_Nate looked confused; he shook his head which brought a grimace of pain from him. He looked again at the doctor. He did not recognize him, he did not know him and worse than that he did not know how to answer him._

"_I…I…don't know…" Nate stammered._

"OK…well you took a hell of a blow to the head and that could have caused some memory loss. Do you remember anything about yourself…anything at all?" Green asked looking down at Nate.

Nate stared at the doctor trying to remember anything. His mind was a blank, his forehead creased with the effort he was making and his eyes closed. The doctor watched him closely as he tried to recall something. When Nate opened his eyes again they still stared blankly at the doctor.

"I…I don't…I don't remember anything…nothing at all." Nate said shakily.

"Ok, well we'll just give it some time. It should come back to you." Green said. Amnesia was not unusual in head trauma patients. "You need to get some rest, you took quite a beating."

Nate merely looked at the doctor and nodded. He was tired and his body was sore. He closed his eyes and quickly drifted back into sleep.

Dr. Green went back to his office and called Jack Rupert. An hour later Rupert walked into the clinic.

"Hey Jack." Green greeted his friend warmly.

"Robert, anything on our man?" Jack asked taking a seat across from the doctor.

"No, he woke up briefly but could not remember anything. I think he has Retrograde Amnesia, he can't remember anything about himself prior to waking up here." Green told the officer.

"So nothing about the attack?" Robert said shaking his head. "How long you think this amnesia is going to last?" Robert asked.

"Don't know Jack. There is no definites here. He could never regain his memory, or it could come back today, or next week, or next month. Until then, there is not much anybody can do." Green said.

"So, he doesn't know who he is and we don't know who he is."

"Well can't you…I don't know…take his fingerprints and check them." Green asked his friend.

"Why doc, you think he is a criminal…?" Rupert smiled at his friend. He had been in this business a long time and he did not get that kind of vibe from the injured man.

"No…no I don't; but you never know. I mean he has four scars from bullet wounds, one not so old." Green said, his words suddenly causing interest in his friend.

"You sure doc…? I mean, you sure they bullet wounds?" Rupert asked, his interest suddenly piqued at this information.

"Yeah…pretty sure. Three in the shoulder, and one in the side. The one in the shoulder is not that old, couple of months ago I'd say." Green confirmed. He had worked in a big Chicago hospital and he had seen his fair share of bullet wounds.

"Well OK doc, I'm going to take a look at all the wants and warrants, I don't think this guy is on the run but as you say you never know. Not many people walk around with bullet wounds, and even less with four. You keep an eye on our patient, don't let him leave. I'll be back later to talk to him." Rupert said standing and leaving. Green watched him go then got up and walked to the door of Nate's room.

"I don't know what kind of trouble you into my friend, but I hope you ain't on the wants and warrant's list 'cause then this would be the most unluckiest day of your life." Green said to the sleeping man before closing the door and leaving Nate to sleep. He instructed his nurse to call him as soon as the patient woke and then went back to his office.

As Sheriff Jack Rupert walked back to his office a grey van pulled up to the front of the local motel. A young man with long flowing hair exited the vehicle with an older woman black hair that was pulled up into a ponytail. Rupert paid little attention to the people, his mind preoccupied with the mystery man at the clinic. He wanted to get back to the office and get onto the wires. Maybe he was a criminal, and if he was then it was best Rupert found out sooner than later.

"OK Eliot, well this is the last town on the list." Sophie said as she and Eliot made their way into the reception area of the motel.

"Yeah…if he ain't here…" Eliot said his voice trailing off.

"What do we do then…?" Sophie asked not sure where they would even start looking for Nate. She was sure he would have holed up at least for a short time in the town he had disembarked at. But as they had passed through the others without getting any information, nobody had seen Nate, not even the conductors at the stations. She could feel the tension grow in the van as each time they came up empty handed. It had been seven long days since they had left LA and this was their last hope, the last place that Nate could have got off the train without being noticed.

"I don't know Sophie, I don't know…" Eliot sighed as he opened the door to the motel reception. He hoped that they would at least get a lead on Nate from this town, at least that, if not the man himself. They needed a break.

"Afternoon folks what can I do for you?" The manager of the hotel asked as the bell on the door alerted him to their presence.

"Good afternoon, we are looking for a room, and a friend of ours." Sophie said as she approached the counter. "He said he would be meeting us here…Nate Ford?"

"Well a room I can help you with but I don't know no Nate Ford, sorry." The manager said smiling at the woman.

"Oh, well maybe you would recognize him?" She asked displaying a picture of Nate she had brought with for the purpose.

"Nope, sorry...You still wanting that room?" He asked after taking a look at the picture.

"Yes please, three rooms." Sophie said a tinge of disappointment showing in her voice. Another bust. Well they would get the rooms sorted out and then make a tour of the town, starting with the train station and the bar. Somebody might have seen Nate if he had gotten off here.

"I'll go get the luggage." Eliot said as Sophie started filling in the forms the manager had pushed in front of her.

Once they had settled into their rooms and freshened up a bit from the long drive, the four left the motel and headed for the train station. They found nobody recognized Nate there either. Deciding that they were also quite hungry they made their way to the bar which doubled as a restaurant. There they showed Nate's picture as well but nobody recognized him. Or at least that was what they thought. Jason Budgner, who was the sheriff's deputy, recognized the man in the picture as the man who was attacked a few days before in town. He decided not to approach the four people who were now seated in a booth and were ordering food; instead he headed out toward the sheriff's office to inform his boss that somebody was looking for their patient.

Half an hour later sheriff Jack Rupert approached their table. Eliot saw him enter the room and walk towards them. He was ready for action, ready to strike if it became necessary.

"Afternoon…I hear you are looking for somebody, want to tell my why?" Rupert asked taking in the four people seated in the booth. He could tell that Eliot was tense, ready to strike like a snake watching some passing danger and trying to decide if it needed to protect itself or not. The older woman looked up at him and smiled. Parker and Hardison just sat and stared at the sheriff, they were ready for anything, but left it to Sophie and Eliot to decide what action to take at this turn of event.

"Is there a problem sheriff?" Sophie asked gently. "We are just looking for our colleague and friend who was taking the train, he said he would meet us here."

"What's your friends name?" Rupert asked the woman.

"Nate Ford. I am Sophie Devereaux, this is Eliot Spencer, Parker and Alec Hardison, we work for Leverage Inc. Nate is our…chairman." Sophie said hesitating ever so slightly on Nate's title. Hardison reached out to hand the sheriff their card. He knew that even if the sheriff had been inclined to investigate he would find nothing of out of place.

"Leverage Inc." Rupert said taking the card and looking it over. "Well, you had all better come with me."

"Why, I mean, is there something wrong, is Nate here?" Sophie asked quickly, this was not normal, something had happened to Nate she could see it on the sheriff's face.

"Your friend had a bit of a run in with some undesirables…he is in the clinic, if you come with me, I'll take you too him." Rupert said.

"Is he hurt…" Parker blurted out.

"Yes, I am afraid he was hurt, a few broken ribs and a head injury. The doc will be able to explain better."

The four wasted no time in settling the bill and then following the sheriff out of the bar, leaving their food almost untouched. Nate was here, Nate was hurt, were the only things they could think as they walked into the clinic. Parker spotted Nate in his room, he was sitting up in the bed and drinking some water when she rushed in.

"Nate…we found you." Parker said happily as she ran up to his bed.

"I'm sorry…who are you?" Nate said a little taken aback by the blonde haired woman who had stormed into his room.

"What…?" Parker asked confused by Nate's question and the look on his face.

"I don't know you…who are you?" Nate repeated.

"Don't be an idiot Nate, it's me Parker." Parker said, now completely confused. She had made no mistake…this was Nate, why was he pretending not to know her?

Sophie and the others had stopped and watched the interaction between Parker and Nate with disbelief. What was Nate playing at? Just as Sophie was about to step in, Doctor Green approached them.

"I am sorry…perhaps you should all come with me." He looked at a very confused Parker and spoke again. "Young lady, come with me please."

"Parker..." Sophie said simply as the young thief stared first at the doctor then at Nate.

"Sorry for the confusion mister." Green said to Nate as he closed the door after they had all exited.

"What is going on here?" Eliot growled as they all entered the side offices to the clinic.

"I am Doctor Robert Green." Green introduced himself then looking at the sheriff for the go ahead and getting it he continued. "Your friend was attacked and took a severe blow to his head. I am afraid he has Retrograde Amnesia, he remembers nothing about his life prior to waking up here in this clinic." The doctor said briefly.

"You mean he doesn't know who he is…who we are?" Sophie asked softly.

"I am afraid not." Green confirmed. "Now that you are here though, there is a chance that it could jog his memory and get him to remember something. We had nothing to go on before, not even his name." Green continued. "But you need to be aware that his memory could never return. We will also need to be careful; sometimes it is not easy for victims of amnesia to remember, sometimes, the memories could be overwhelming for them." Green added, he was thinking of the gunshot wounds he had seen, this man had obviously gone through some trauma in his life.

Eliot and Sophie looked at each other as the doctor spoke. Nate remembered nothing. When he did get his memory back would it be like reliving the event…Neither one of them had suffered from amnesia before and had no idea how it worked. If it was like that would he have to relive Sam's death? Sophie shuddered at the thought; he had barely survived it the first time she did not want him to have to go through that loss again.

"How do we help him?" Hardison asked the doctor.

"Well, you talk to him, talk to him about his life, about yourselves. It also helps to have some photographs of people and places. But it is going to take time and patience. Just remember this is as hard, perhaps even harder for him as for you. He has no idea who he is, he doesn't know how he should respond to anything." Green answered.

"When will he be able to travel?" Eliot asked thinking about getting Nate back home where they could keep an eye on him and help him when he did recover his memories.

"Well he can travel now. The other injuries were minor, a few broken ribs and some other bruises. But first things first, perhaps we should do some introductions and then take it from there."

"Sounds good doctor, lead on…" Eliot concurred. The sooner they could get Nate home the better.

Nervously the four of them plus the doctor and the sheriff entered Nate's room. Nate looked up at them and frowned. He still recognized nobody except the doctor and the sheriff. He had been wracking his brain since the blonde had barged into his room calling him Nate. Nate who? Who was she, who were the other three people. He had a feeling he should know them but the more he tried to remember the less he did.

"Well let me do the introductions then…" Doctor Green said approaching his patients' bed and seeing his look of confusion and frustration. "Your name is Nate Ford…" Green paused waiting to see if that did anything for the man. Seeing it did not he continued. "These are you friends, Sophie, Eliot, Parker and Hardison…" Green said pointing to each one as he said their names.

Nate looked from Sophie to Hardison trying desperately to make some connection. Nothing came to him and he looked back at the doctor. "I don't know them, any of them." He said softly.

"That's ok, like I said, it could take a while." Green reassured the man. "Why don't we let them stay here a while and you just talk to them, maybe something will come back to you." Green asked. He did not want to do anything that could upset Nate. He was his patient and if he did not want to see these people then he was not going to.

Nate nodded slightly in agreement and the doctor smiled at him then turned to leave taking the sheriff with him. _

**All reviews greatly appreciated…I hope you enjoyed this chapter, as I said before life is a bit hectic this side so sorry about the slow posts…I will try to get the next chapter up soon.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

An awkward silence followed their departure. The four members of his team stood in an array around his bed with Nate staring at them each in turn. Suddenly Nate reached out and took a bottle of whiskey out of the side drawer next to his bed. He raised an eyebrow at Sophie who stood at the foot of his bed as he poured himself a drink and then downed it swiftly.

"So I take it you know I drink?" He said quietly to her as he poured another drink and sipped it. He could see that they were a little surprised but not at his drinking, at the fact that he was drinking here in hospital. "The doctor picked up on the fact early that I had a…let's say problem…and decided that it was better to let me have some, considering the trauma I had already suffered." Nate smiled at them as he clarified the presence of the alcohol.

"Yes…" Sophie said; she felt as if the question had been directed at her and only her.

"Ahhh…ok, well tell me this…good or bad?" Nate asked again looking at each of them in turn.

"What…?" Parker said not understanding the question.

"Good or Bad…now, the doctor there told me I have four scars that look to him like bullet wounds, one quite fresh…so...in other words…cop or bad guy?" Nate clarified his question.

Sophie stared at the man in the bed. He may have lost his memory but he had definitely not lost his intellect. He was reasoning with himself, trying to work out who he was, who they were. She also knew by the way he was looking at her that he would be able to tell if she were lying, the same way he had always been able to tell.

"A little of both..." She said honestly. Nate smiled at her and nodded slightly.

"You can't be both; you are either one or the other…so I take it not good." He said finishing off his whiskey and placing the glass down beside him.

"Nate…we help people…you always liked to say 'we take up where the law leaves off'" Hardison said trying to explain to him that they might be bad guys but they were doing good.

"Ok…so self-righteous bad guys then." Nate said to the Hacker without any humor in his voice. "Was I 'helping' somebody when I ended up here?"

All of them hesitated to answer that one. What did they tell him, that he had run away after his ex-wife had died? That he had not wanted to stay with them, that he had wanted out of the team. They could not do that but what did they tell him? They all felt a little uneasy and Nate immediately picked up on the tension that had suddenly filled the room.

"In a way…you were trying to help some people." Eliot eventually said drawing Nate's attention to him and away from Sophie just before she gave Eliot an inquiring glance at his words.

"What do you mean…who was I trying to help. Are they still in danger…in trouble…?" Nate asked his interest piqued and a look of concern crossing his face. He closed his eyes desperately trying to remember something. "Do you know who I was trying to help?" Nate asked his eyes still closed.

Sophie watched him closely. His 'white knight' personality had kicked in. He was considering the possibility that he had left somebody out in the cold, somebody he was trying to help and was therefore responsible for. She could see the different emotions flood his features and all she wanted to do was reach out and hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright.

"Well…you were…"Eliot faltered, the idea had just come to him and he was not prepared for follow up questions.

Nate opened his eyes and stared at the Hitter. "I was what?" Nate asked urgently.

"You were just finishing up the job and heading back home, you were going to stop off here and wait for us to pick you up." Sophie finished for Eliot. She had to make up a story now on the fly, one that would satisfy him enough to let him relax a little.

"You sure…?" Nate asked questioningly at her. He did not want to be in a position where he had promised to help somebody and then had not been able to come through. He did not remember anything about himself but he was sure he was not somebody who broke his promises. Or at least he hoped he was not that person.

"Sure Nate…don't worry there are no more obligations on your part to anybody. All you have to do is worry about getting better yourself." Sophie said relieved she had succeeded in completing the story satisfactorily.

"Ok…so tell me about myself…doc said the best way to remember is to hear stories. Better yet tell me about yourself…who are you…I don't even know your names." Nate said taking a deep breath. He felt in his gut that he could trust these people. He felt somehow a bond with them…they were not family, he did not think so anyway…but they were close, his whole being told him that.

"Well that's easy…I'm Parker, this is Eliot; Hardison and that is Sophie…What else do you want to know?" Parker jumped in. Sophie quickly intervened, Parker was not the most subtle person in the world and she would answer Nate's questions very directly…that is not what they needed now.

"Why don't we hold off on that until we get you home? The doctor said you can travel and if you feel up to it we can leave this afternoon…Hardison has tickets booked on a flight out of Chicago." Eliot said raising his eyebrow at Hardison who threw him a look at his statement. He too had picked up on Sophie's angst at Parkers words. It would not do any good for Nate to hear the truth about anything right now…no they had to finesse this, ease him back…ease his memories back. He knew Parker would blurt out anything Nate wanted, including that his family was dead. It was not that she would do it on purpose, but Parker was Parker and she lacked in the social graces as well as tactfulness.

"Where is 'home'?" Nate asked sheepishly.

"Portland." Parker replied.

"Portland…" Nate repeated and again Sophie could see his mind working overtime.

"Nate there will be plenty of time to sort everything out when we get home…why don't you just get some rest…" Sophie said touching his arm lightly and almost sobbing when she felt him pull away slightly. After all they had gone through. After all the years it had taken to get to the point they were at. Now this, now it could all be lost…maybe she would never be able to get it back…the thought sent a shiver down her spine and caused unshed tears to burn in her eyes as she looked down at him.

It was finally agreed that Nate would get some rest and the doctor would clear him for travel later that day. The team said their goodbye's and then made their way out of the room leaving Nate to his thoughts.

**Thanks for your patience…hope you enjoy this chapter…all reviews greatly accepted.**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

It had been three days since they had returned to Portland. It had been decided that Nate would stay at the offices in the back rooms. Sophie took one of the rooms as well, deciding that she would rather be close to Nate than be alone in their apartment. They had been living together since moving to Portland. Hardison and Parker were already living there before this incident and Eliot decided he needed to be near in case something happened. So in all the entire team had ensconced themselves in the buildings.

During the last three days the team had regaled Nate with stories of their adventures. They had told him of their marks and the people they had helped. It had been decided between all of them that they avoid talking about Nate's personal life and the losses he had suffered. Nate listed to all of them and took in all of their stories. Although he felt comfortable with these people and he was sure that he could trust them, Nate knew that something was missing. They were hiding something from him. He had asked about himself before he had brought this team together and they had answered him. They had told him about his life as an investigator for an insurance company. Sophie especially had enthralled him with stories of how he had chased her around Europe. She had also explained the scar in his shoulder from a bullet. She had given it to him. He had been shocked and appalled and then amused when she told him the story and how he had returned the favour and left a scar on her back after shooting her in return. It was clear that they had had some kind of a relationship then, and from the way she looked at him they definitely had a relationship now…just how close they were he was not sure but he was sure that they were more than friends. Still he had noticed that they had not told him about anything personal, they had not told him who he really was. Nate spent time on his own too, alone in his room he racked his brain to come up with some clue as to who he really was and why he had a feeling he could not shake, a feeling of sadness.

It was on the morning of the fourth day that Nate dreamed of a little boy. A little boy lying in a hospital bed hooked up to numerous machines. He watched the boy die in his dreams and woke up screaming and crying out for the boy not to go. Sophie having heard the scream burst into his room. She saw him sitting on the bed sobbing inconsolably. Immediately she knew, in her heart she knew he had remembered something about Sam. It took a few minutes for Nate to register her standing there. He turned his tearstained face to her and the sadness and desolation in his blue eyes broke her heart.

"Sam…Sam was my…my son…?" Nate stammered trying to regain some of his composure and asking her to confirm what he knew already.

"Yes…" She said softly. She approached the bed and sat down next to him reaching out for him. He pulled away from her and wiped his eyes dry.

"Why didn't you tell me…why…? You tell me all of these stories about my life chasing you lot and then working with you all. My wonderful life…but you don't tell me I had a son…a son who died." Nate spat at her moving off the bed and walking to the window. Abruptly he turned back to her and his eyes bored into her. "What else have you not told me…what else about my life? How did my son die…why did he die…he was so young…was it an accident…was I responsible for his death…?" Nate asked his voice dropping to a whisper on the last question. It was something he did not even what to consider. God… what if he had been the cause of his son's death. That must be why they had not wanted to tell him about it. They had not wanted to tell him he was responsible for a young child's death…his own son. He walked over and grabbed the bottle of whiskey that stood on the sideboard against the wall and with shaking hands poured himself a full glass of the liquid, then down it all in one gulp. Pouring himself another glass he turned back to Sophie. "Well…"

"Nate…you…we…we just wanted to…" Sophie stumbled over her words not sure of what she should say. This was the moment she had dreaded since they had found Nate and found that he had no memory of himself or them. She had hoped that perhaps this memory would never return. She did not know what to say, she did not know how to comfort him. "You were NOT responsible for Sam's death, he had cancer Nate…he was sick and…and there was nothing that you could have done." Sophie suddenly said staring at the man she loved. She had to make him understand that. Perhaps he would be able to accept that now; perhaps she could make him see that now. Yes he had to relive Sam's death but maybe this time she could help him deal with it and accept that he was not responsible for it.

Nate stared at her for a long minute then draining the rest of his second drink poured himself a third. "You are holding something back…what is it…?" Nate asked her. He could read on her face that she was telling the truth, but not the whole truth. He wanted the whole truth. "Sophie…I…I need to know…" Nate said sitting down on the chair next to the sideboard. "I need to know everything…Please, you need to tell me."

Sophie stared at him. His memory was coming back and he would remember, he would remember everything. She knew she had to tell him. She had to tell him everything, now before he started to remember on his own and blamed them for not telling him. She knew it was going to be hard. How did she tell him that his son might have been saved if it had not been for the greed on the part of Ian Blackpoole and IYS Insurance? Tell him that his father had died because Victor Dubenich had wanted to hurt him, revenge himself on him. That his wife had been killed in a car accident and he had watched her die not two months ago. She did not think that she could do this alone. She needed the others there. They all needed to be there so that they could reassure him at the same time as telling him he had lost his family, he had gained another. She needed them there to assure him that he was needed. That he was an integral part of a family that loved him and cared for him. She needed them there for her sake as well as his.

"Ok…ok Nate, I will tell you everything, we will tell you everything. But we need to do it together. Can we do that?" Sophie asked a pleading look in her eyes.

Nate could see the conflict in her. He could see she was scared. She was scared of telling him about his life. He must have done something very bad…something she did not think he could live with. He looked down at the drink in his hand. He was an alcoholic…what did that mean…? Did it mean he was trying to forget, to drown out his pain, his guilt at what he had done? He needed to know. He downed the rest of the drink and picked up the bottle moving to the door. "Get them…we do this now." He said as he left the room making his way into the communal area to wait for the team.

**Thanks Sphinx, stella and Carebear818 for your kind words of encouragement, and NashNurse and Leveragus I am glad you are enjoying it. Please keep the reviews coming they are so greatly appreciated.**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sophie watched Nate leave the room carrying his bottle of whiskey. She got up and went straight to Eliot's room. Unsurprisingly she found him wide awake and waiting for her.

"He's remembering?" Eliot asked as she knocked softly then stepped into the room. "I heard the scream but thought it best to leave you too alone." He explained.

"Yes…about Sam. Eliot he is so angry and confused and…and scared." Sophie said looking lost and hopeless herself. Eliot stood and wrapped an arm around her.

"He'll get through this…he's not alone, not like he was before." Eliot said his voice instilling some confidence in Sophie but not quite belaying her fears.

"Of course we will…" She said weakly pulling back from his embrace. "I'll go get Parker and Hardison, he wants to talk now. Why don't you go through so long…I don't want to leave him on his own for too long…he's…he's drinking and…"

"I'll go…you go get the others." Eliot said following her out of the room. He took a deep breath and headed to where Nate was waiting for them. He found him sitting in the darkened room with a full glass of whiskey in his hand and the now half empty bottle standing beside him on the table, he had not even bothered to replace the lid after pouring his glass. Eliot watched him for a brief moment then headed into the kitchen to make coffee. Nate watched him go without acknowledging his presence.

The others filed into the room a few minutes later. Eliot nodded at them as they entered and offered them all tea or coffee. He also looked at Nate who raised his glass to him in response.

"Don't you think you should be sober for this man?" Eliot asked ignoring the withering look Nate threw at him in response. He shrugged his shoulders but continued to make the coffee for all of them. He walked over to Nate and silently placed a full cup of the hot liquid next to him. Nate just looked at him and took another sip of the amber liquid he was holding.

"OK…I want it all, everything…no happy little stories, no lies, no double talk…just the hard cold truth." Nate said as they all seated themselves around him. "You can start with my son."

"We don't know the whole story…" Sophie started only to be interrupted by Nate.

"I said no lies…no sweet talk…no edited versions." Nate said angrily the whiskey he had already consumed, along with the fear of what he was about to hear fueling his anger.

"She is telling you the truth man." Eliot said his voice soft yet conveying a threat to Nate. "Now either you let us tell it or you don't."

"Fine…" Nate said sitting back in his seat and staring at Sophie as she continued.

"We DON"T know the whole story. Only what we heard and what you told us." Sophie stared again then took a deep breath before continuing. "Sam, your son, got sick when he was about 6 years old. He had cancer…I don't know what type. He went into remission for a short time but when the cancer returned it was very aggressive." She stopped again. That was the easy part. That was the acceptable, if you could call it that, part. Now she had to tell him the hard part, the part he always blamed himself for. "You found a possible cure, or at least a treatment that could help him. You were working for a man named Ian Blackpoole at the time…IYS Insurance." Again she stopped giving Nate time to digest the information. Nate had stopped drinking. His glass was held loosely in his hand as he concentrated on what she was saying. "You asked IYS to pay out an insurance policy you had in order to pay for the treatment…but they…they refused to pay. They said the treatment was experimental and that…well they just refused to pay and…and Sam…" Sophie halted her tale, emotion suddenly overwhelming her.

"He died." Nate said softly. He drained his glass again and looked at each of them in turn. "Did I do anything…ANYTHING to save him…I mean…I had the ability to get the money some other way didn't I? You all have told me about how I retrieved paintings and artwork worth millions…"Nate asked softly, he was not asking them so much as himself. He was trying to reconcile the fact that his son had died because he did not have the money to save him but here he sat with more money than he knew what to do with, all obtained by illegal means…could he not have obtained the funds to save his son in the same way.

"You were a good guy Nate…you followed the rules…you were an honest man…" Eliot said in response to Nate. "You could not steal to save him. You believed that IYS would pay out, but they didn't…it wasn't your fault."

'Why the hell not…? Can you tell me that…he was my SON…my SON dammit? Why can I steal now, I can be the criminal now when it only benefits me…but I couldn't do it to save my only SON?' Nate said with such venom in his voice that they all cringed. The anger was not directed at them but himself and they knew it, but still the force of the self-hatred permeated the room sending a chill up all of their spines. Nate stood from his seat walking to the window and stared out into the darkness. He shook his head slightly and composed himself before turning back to the group. "What else…there is more…what else… tell me!" He demanded.

The others watched as he walked back to his seat and sat down heavily in the chair. Taking the bottle from the table he did not even bother pouring the liquid into a glass he merely raised the bottle to his lips and took a deep drink. The action reminded Sophie of the time just after they had come together when he had brought them in for their first real job as a team. They had come so far from then…now, now they were back where they had started those five years ago.

"Nate maybe…maybe you should…"

"Don't Sophie, you are going to tell me everything…I need to know everything now. Who else have I injured, killed, hurt in some way…huh…tell me." Nate said looking at each of them in turn but not really seeing them. He closed his eyes and saw the pale still body of his son lying in a hospital bed. He heard his own screams in his mind and closed his eyes tighter trying to shut it out. At that moment another memory surfaced, a memory of an explosion, images of his father flashed before him. Then images of Maggie; of another hospital room; another death and another loss – was he responsible for that too? Suddenly he was overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of the flashbacks he was having, image after image invaded his mind as his memories flooded back. The memory of Sam had been the catalyst and now everything was coming back in waves. It was like a sick movie show playing in his mind, a horror film with death and destruction.

The others remained silent as they watched Nate cringe in his seat then bend forward with his hands covering his face. It seemed to them he was trying to block out some horrible sight. Eliot had no doubt he was and he knew he was not going to succeed. None of them moved. None of them spoke, they just watched as Nate fell apart before them. They did not know how long it was before Nate finally looked up at them. His eyes were dead, his face streaked with tears he had silently shed. He stood shakily almost falling. Sophie moved to help him but then stopped as he gave her a glaring look daring her to touch him.

"My father, my wife and my son…you should have told me…You had no right to keep it from me…" Nate slurred the whiskey and the emotion taking its toll on him.

"Nate…we would have told you…we just thought that you needed time…we…"

"You what, hoped I would never remember that I was responsible for the deaths of my family, amongst others…that I would never remember who I really was…the bastard I really was. Well sorry…I remember everything, including what I was doing in that town you found me in." A terrible tiredness settled over Nate as he stood staring at them.

"You are only remembering the bad…what about the good…what about us…what about your family?" Parker asked softly, she too had tears in her eyes.

"I don't deserve a family…" Nate muttered softly. Then looking up directly at Parker he added a sentence that hurt her more than anything in the world. "I don't want a family!" He said as he took the bottle and staggered back to his room leaving the four of them reeling from his final words.

**Wow that was an emotional chapter to write…I hope you all enjoyed it. This is not going well for the team or Nate…I will try and post the next chapter as soon as I can. Again thanks for all the reviews and keep them coming.**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The four of them sat stunned by what they had just witnessed.

"My God Eliot…we were so wrong." Sophie said sadly. "We were so, so wrong."

"Sophie…"

"No Eliot, we thought because we were here he would be able to handle this better…that he would have us to lean on." Sophie shook her head ruefully. "What we did not count on was Nate's logic."

"What logic…huh…what logic?" Hardison asked anger in his voice. Anger at Nate for doing what he had just done to Parker; the little blonde thief sat dead still staring at the door Nate had retreated behind. Tears ran down her face unheeded and she shook with emotion.

"His logic Hardison…don't you see?" Sophie asked looking at the Hacker sadly. "Now, what he has become…the man he has become…one of us…" Sophie drew a deep breath in then continued. "He cannot reconcile that with the fact that he would not do what he is doing now, everyday with us, he cannot believe that he would not do that to save the life of his son. Before, well he was Nate, the good guy, the guy who followed the rules, like Eliot said. Now…"

"Oh shit…" Eliot said understanding what Sophie was saying and realizing that she was right. This had made the situation worse…it was something he had not even considered.

"So now he blames himself more…?" Parker asked softly. "Because of us he blames himself more for his son's death?"

"Yes Parker. He blames himself for Sam's death, and probably for Jimmy's too…if his memory has returned fully he will remember that it was him Dubenich wanted and his father was killed because of it. At the time, Nate dealt with that and moved on, but now…with all the emotion, all the…with everything, he is not going to see it any other way."

"So what do we do?" Hardison asked the anger gone from his voice.

"I don't know Hardison…I just don't know."

"We can't let him leave again…we aren't going to let him leave again are we?" Parker asked her voice small and full of fear.

"No…no he isn't going anywhere Parker, we are going to have to watch him all the time, we are going to have to get him through this somehow." Eliot said a horrible thought entering his mind, a thought that made his heart cringe and his fear levels rise.

"Eliot…?" Sophie asked picking up on Eliot's angst.

"Sophie…when his life fell apart before…the only thing that kept him alive…the only thing that stopped him from…well you know…it was his religion. He believed that it was a mortal sin to…to kill himself." Eliot said his voice heavy with dread at the mere possibility of Nate taking his own life.

"You think he might…oh no man Nate would never." Hardison said his eyes wide. "He wouldn't would he?"

"I don't know…he has broken his moral code from then…he is now…well he is…"

"Everything he wasn't then. A thief, a criminal, at least that's how he sees himself. He is not thinking straight, he is seeing himself as a hateful person who doesn't deserve to be alive. And he is being overwhelmed with memories he cannot handle, and he is drinking…" Eliot said meaningfully.

Parker listened to all of them. They were talking about Nate killing himself. She suddenly sprang up from her position on the sofa and made a bee-line for Nate's bedroom door.

"Parker…" Sophie and Eliot said simultaneously as they saw her open the door gently.

Nate was lying sprawled on the bed. The empty whiskey bottle lying next to him and his breathing was soft and rhythmical. The three watched as Parker walked into the room and sat down beside him on the bed. Nate did not stir; he was passed out from the whiskey and the emotional overload of the nights revelations. She reached over and took the bottle and dropped it into the waste basket next to the bed. Then standing she started going through Nate's draws and searching the room.

"Parker what are you doing…?" Sophie asked softly.

"Protecting Nate…we have to protect him, from himself." Parker said continuing her systematic search. She had taken the waste basket and was emptying every sharp object she could find into it. She had taken his medications; the pain meds the doctor had given him at the clinic and dropped them into the basket too. The rest watched her as she completed her rounds. When she was done she stood at Nate's bed.

"You are the only man I have ever felt I could truly trust. You taught me to trust, to rely on others. You showed me that being in a team, in a family was better than being alone. Now it is my turn…" She turned to the others briefly and then back to Nate's prone figure. "Our turn…we will show you what you showed us…that even if the world is horrible, and horrible things happen, that people do horrible things, bad people…you can trust us, you can rely on us, you are our family and we are there for each other no matter what." Parker said softly before turning from the sleeping man and facing the rest of the team. "No matter how long it takes, or how horrible he is to us, or how much he hurts us with his words, we are going to make him understand right?" Although she posed it as a question it came across to them as a statement.

"Yes we are darlin', yes we damn well are." Eliot replied for all of them.

Sophie just looked at the young woman. Parker had matured so much from that first job. Over the last five years she had become a mature, thoughtful, woman. Yes she was still a naive young child in many ways, or at least she acted that way. That was her persona that she put out there. But she had grown so much over the last five years. Nate had done that, he had let her blossom into the woman that stood before her now. He had given her the confidence and the strength to trust. Nate had never let her down, never betrayed her and never hurt her, at least not intentionally. He was the first man who had taken her as she was and nurtured her without trying to change her, without wanting something from her in return. She respected him, she loved him. Sophie looked over at Hardison. He too had grown under Nate's guidance. He had matured from the geek hacker with no goals in life except to indulge in his passion for computer games and hacking. He had molded him into the leader that he was becoming. He had showed faith and trust in Hardison, he had put his trust in him and showed him that he was worth so much more. To Eliot he had given somebody to look up too again. Somebody to respect, even though sometimes it was hard, but even with his drinking, Eliot respected Nate. He admired Nate more than any other man on earth. He gave his loyalty to Nate and that for a man like Eliot spoke volumes. As for her, well she had always loved Nate…she could admit that to herself now. From the beginning she had loved him, she had tempted him but he had resisted, even though she knew he felt something for her too. That had just added to her love of him, her respect and admiration of him had been strengthed by his steadfast commitment to his wife and family. Now after all those years of playing games, they had finally stopped dancing around each other. He had not told her he loved her, but she knew, she felt it and she was not willing to give up that love. She would not let him throw away the life they had built.

"Yes we are Parker." Sophie added then motioned them all out of the room and closed the door. "He is going to sleep for a good long while now. I think we all need to get some rest too, this is going to be a long hard road we are going down and we are going to need all our strength."

"Sophie's right. We should get some sleep." Eliot confirmed. Parker and Hardison nodded and left for their rooms. Sophie watched as Eliot pulled up a chair in front of Nate's room and sat down making himself comfortable. "I only sleep 90 minutes Sophie and I had those already." Eliot replied to her unasked question.

"Ok…but we are all going to need our strength Eliot…" Sophie said acquiescing to him for now.

"Right you are…but I'll get mine later after you all have." Eliot was silent for a short while and Sophie sensed he wanted to say something more.

"What if we can't stop him…he's not stupid Sophie and he is a grown man, if he wants to leave, well how do we stop him apart from locking him up here. If he wants to…if he wants to do something…how do we…stop him? If he wants to…"

"Never going to happen Eliot…not with the four of us here." Sophie said confidently. She knew this was going to be hard. That Nate was probably going to fight them tooth and nail to leave. She was not sure how they would stop him. Making him a prisoner was not going to be conducive to him wanting to stay. Somehow they had to make him understand what it was he was going to lose if he left. They had to make him appreciate that he had a new family, one that he loved as much as they loved him. They somehow had to break through the hurt and the self-recrimination and the fear he had in him. As for the other thing, she was not sure even now if he would try to hurt himself, not while he was sober anyway, but leaving…that was something different, and if he did get away from them, they would never find him again, of that she was sure. They would just have to make sure that he did not. "Just make sure he doesn't leave…the rest we will take as it comes." Sophie said laying her hand on his shoulder briefly and then heading off to her room.

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter…thanks again for all your reviews…they really inspire me to continue with the story and are greatly appreciated.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Six hours later Nate emerged from his sleep. He rolled over on to his back and rubbed his eyes. He lay silently on the bed and listened to the sounds coming from outside. The rest of the team were up and moving. He could hear muffled sounds of conversation and pots and pans being used. He closed his eyes and ran his hands across his face again. He recalled everything from the previous night. Anger suddenly rose in him again at the knowledge that they had kept the details of his life from him. But just as suddenly as it appeared it dissipated. Nate knew he had been wrong to be angry with them. His memory was now fully restored and although some things were still a little hazy, one thing was not. They were his family, he had told them so himself those two years ago on the Maltese Falcon. He could not deny that, he could not deny that he felt for them, that he cared for them. He knew they had not done what they did to hurt him, or deceive him. They were trying to help him. Running his hand over his face again he sighed deeply. That did not change what was. He had not changed his mind as to what he needed to do, what he had to do. He did not want to hurt them, and he had. He cringed as he recalled Parker's face when he had told them he did not want them, did not want a family. Sitting upright in bed he was reminded of his damaged ribs by the sudden pain in his chest. He reached over to the bedside table for his pain medication only to find they were not there. Frowning slightly he swept his eyes across the room but did not see the bottle anywhere. Oh well he thought, he must have left it in the bathroom. With a little effort he pushed himself up of the bed and walked a little unsteadily in the bathroom. Not finding the pills he decided he had probably just left them outside in the kitchen. He went back into the room he retrieved some clothes and decided he need to get cleaned up before going out to face the team.

Eliot sat vigil outside of Nate's room for the next four hours, until the sun started to rise on the city of Portland. Then he took the chair and placed it back at the dining table before going into the kitchen and putting on a pot of coffee. It would not be long before the others would also be out so he decided to make a start with breakfast. He kept a sharp ear out for any untoward noise from Nate's room but hearing nothing he continued with his preparations. He was not wrong…the rest of the team made their appearance not long afterwards. Parker when straight for the cereal and Eliot did not have the heart to chastise her about it this time. Let the girl eat what she wanted he thought. Hardison and Sophie both helped themselves to some coffee and then sat down at the table. Besides the good mornings nobody said anything. Sophie raised her eyebrow at Eliot who shook his head in response. Nate was not awake yet. Soon breakfast was served and they ate. The mood remained somber with little to no discussions between the group. Parker kept glancing at Nate's door periodically but said nothing.

Just as Eliot and Sophie were done cleaning up the breakfast dishes Nate emerged from his room. He was freshly showered he mumbled a good morning as he moved to the coffee machine and poured himself a cup. Sitting down and sipping his coffee before looking up at the group.

"Has anybody seen my pills?" He asked loudly. Flicking his eyes from one to another he gauged their reaction to his question. He had thought about it while he was in the shower and after looking through the bathroom cupboards he had confirmed his suspicions. All medications were gone. All sharp objects were gone. Somebody had removed them.

Parker smiled happily at him and handed him the correct dosage he needed. He looked up at the young woman and smiled to himself shaking his head slightly. "It's alright Parker, you can give me the whole bottle, I have no intentions of killing myself." He said softly. Then he looked up at the rest of the group and told them to sit. Now was as good a time as any he thought to get this done.

"I…I have to apologize for last night, or rather this morning…I…I am sorry." He said to the stunned looking group. Parker looked at him in awe…Nate never apologized, well except that time on Christmas Eve, but that was different.

"I mean…" Nate blew out his breath as was his way when faced with something he did not want to really talk about or think about. "I mean…I know you guys were not trying to deceive me, or hurt me, you were just trying to….to help me." Nate looked at each of them, making eye contact with each of them. "I had no right to react the way I did, it was just…just the memories were…" Nate faltered as the images of his son flashed again in his mind.

"We understand Nate and there is nothing to apologize for. You were…not…well not in your right mind." Sophie said gently. This was totally unexpected. She had expected him to storm out of his room with his bags packed ready to leave. She had expected him to head straight for the bottle as soon as he had emerged from his room, not a cup of coffee. She did not know what she had expected but it was definitely not this. Suddenly his behavior scared her and she stared at him trying to gauge where he was going.

"Well…yes. But, I need you to understand, all of you, that this, none of this, changes my feelings about leaving, I need to make that perfectly clear." Nate said firmly. He was leaving, he was leaving them and that was his final decision, it was the only decision he could make in his mind.

"What…but…but you said…I don't understand?" Parker almost whimpered grabbing hold of Hardison's hand under the table.

"I meant what I said Parker. I am not angry with any of you, and I had no right to…to behave the way I did."

"Don't be an idiot Nate…we are your family, you said so…we are your family, you don't just walk out on your family…you just don't." Parker said with anger suddenly filling her voice. She was done playing this game with Nate. He had no right to leave and he was not going to leave and that was that.

"You are right Parker, we are family. I told you a while back that you had become my family, my only family, and I meant it." Nate nodded at the woman.

"I don't understand…" Sophie said softly looking from Nate to Eliot and the rest of them. "Why are you wanting to leave when…when you…I don't understand Nate."

"It is simple…you don't want to be my family!" Nate said as if that explained everything.

"Man you sure we don't have to take you back to the hospital, maybe that crack on the head did more damage than you know…what the hell are you talking about man?" Eliot growled at Nate's assertion.

"Yeah man…you ain't making any sense." Hardison chimed in.

Nate sat back in his chair and took another sip of his coffee. He knew what he had to do. He knew that he had to leave, not only for himself but for them. He had thought about it as he lay in his bed this morning going over everything that had happened in his life. He did not think he could make them understand, but he owed them something, he owed them an explanation at least.

**What do you think Nate could possibly say. Do you think the team will buy anything he says?...Hope you all still enjoying the story, thanks for all the reviews they are really appreciated. Please keep them coming.**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Nate sat back sipping his coffee and contemplating how he was going to convey what he was feeling to these people. How he was going to make them understand that he needed to leave them. He could not face losing one of them. He would not survive one of their deaths. He could not bear to be responsible for any one of them losing their lives because of him.

"It is simple maths…anybody who is in my family…well they die." Nate said simply.

"Nate…that is not your fault…you can't just abandon…" Sophie started to say before Nate held up his hand to stop her.

"Don't Sophie. I know it is not my fault, well not…" He took a deep breath and continued. "Anyway…the point is whether it is or was my fault or not, they die. I won't…can't be responsible for ANY ONE OF YOU…getting hurt or…or dying." Nate said ending softly and looking down and away from them all at the end of his explanation. He did not do well with emotional things…he did not do well explaining himself anyway, but trying to get them to understand how he felt, well that was definitely not his strong suite.

"Don't give me that crap. That ain't going to fly." Eliot said succinctly pulling Nate's attention to him. "No way man, you ain't going to say you are doing this for us…to keep us safe…you are doing this for yourself, for your own selfish reasons…you want to leave man, well just say it straight out that you want to leave 'cause you scared shitless of another loss in your life. But let me tell you man. You did this to us; you made us a team, a family. We were all self-sufficient before you came along, we took care of ourselves quite nicely before you came along and yeah, we all know what might happen to us in our chosen professions. But then well you came along, you and this…this…this thing we do." Eliot said almost without drawing a breath, he wanted to get this out; he wanted to let Nate know how he felt. He wanted to do this now and without being stopped by Sophie who he could see was a little uneasy with this tack he had taken, it was time Nate stopped wallowing in self-pity and realized that he was no longer alone in this world. That he had changed their lives forever and that he could not just run away because he was scared, it did not work like that. He looked directly at Nate ignoring Sophie's pained expression and continued. "They want to go easy on you but you need some hard truths man. Firstly do you think you are the only one who has lost anybody? Do you think none of us has ever lost anybody…why do you think we were all loners, all of us, we avoided having to be responsible for anybody but ourselves, we avoided being attached to anybody…don't tell me you didn't 'cause that would be a damn lie. Yes, you had it bad. What happened to your son…well that was horrible sure, and it must have been pure hell for you…" Nate opened his mouth to say something but Eliot held his hand up and gave him a withering look which made him decide to just remain quiet and let Eliot finish. "We all understand that. We all understand that it broke you man. But we are all broken get it, all of us, maybe not in the same way as you but…anyway the point is, you Nate, you made us a team, you made us a family, you made us all care for somebody other than ourselves, you did that…now when we are…when we…hell losing you would be…" Eliot tried to get the words he wanted to say out but was struggling.

"What he is saying Nate is that we are family, you can't ask us to let you go because we can't we care…love you too much." Sophie said for him realizing that this was maybe the only way they were going to get Nate to see sense. Eliot nodded to her in thanks then looked back at Nate.

"Yeah man." Hardison said simply.

Parker looked at all of them then at Nate. "I don't want to lose my family…please Nate." She added to their pleas.

Nate stared at them. This was getting way to emotional for him. This was…this was not going the way he intended. They were not getting it. He was bad luck, the people he loved died. He was doing this to keep them safe. He did not want to leave them, he had to. Eliot just did not understand; none of them did. None of them had lost a child, an entire family in fact. None of them knew what he felt, how he felt. He could have saved his son, he could have but chose to do the 'right' thing, trust in the system. That had cost Sam his life and he was responsible for that, no matter what he told himself or what they told him. He had cost his father his life. He had not got there in time, he had allowed his father to get away from him and die trying to save him. He was responsible, no matter what they thought. Maggie was dead, my mother was dead, true, their deaths were admittedly not my fault, but still. How could they understand?

"I know what you are thinking Nate…that we don't understand how you feel. But we do. Eliot is right, we have all lost. True I have never lost a child, and I hope to God that I never do. But we have all of us lost people, people close to us. You feel responsible for us, and you think that you cannot bear it if you cannot keep us safe. But we do a dangerous job Nate, whether you are here or not we will continue doing it. Do you think we would be safer without you here to cover all our bases? What happens if one of us is hurt or killed because you are not here, don't you think you would then be just as responsible? How do you think Eliot feels every time we go into a con? Don't you think he feels responsible? How do you think we all feel when any one of us is in danger? Don't you think we feel desperate to keep each other safe? That's what family does Nate…you should know that, you worry about somebody other than yourself; you fear for another's safety…that is what you have given us…a family. YOU put us in a situation none of us was wanting…in fact had avoided. YOU MADE US A FAMILY dammit." Sophie continued on the line Eliot had taken. If they could not convince him to stay for their sakes, then they had to make him stay for his sake. If they could guilt him into staying, at least for the moment…once that was done, time would take care of the rest.

Silence followed Sophie's words. Nate stared down at his now cold coffee. He needed a drink he thought. He should have just slipped out like he had the first time, just planned it better. This was not going the way it was supposed to go he thought again. How could he leave now…after what Sophie had just said. Damn the woman, now if he left and one of them was hurt or…or killed on a job, it would be his fault. There would always be the question of if he had been there, planning, would he have been able to avoid…no…no they were not going to do this to him, he would not allow them to manipulate him into staying, he had made us his mind, he was going and that was final. You can't con a con man. He looked up to find four sets of anxious eyes staring back at him. He felt the weight of their concern, their love, and their care…on him.

"You are being an idiot Nate…you can't leave and…and well that is just the way it is." Parker said flatly. "I am not going to let you leave, you are…you are…well you are more than Archie ever was." She continued trying to explain to Nate that he was the father she had never had, not that she thought of herself as his daughter, but he was the man she trusted, relied on, turned to for support, for guidance…He was the one who taught her, kept her in line. He was the one who had allowed her to develop into a different person, somebody with who could relate to others…well kind of, somebody who could have a boyfriend, who could have friends. He was the one who never tried to change her, just showed her how she could change. He was also the one who trusted her to do her part, he put his faith in her as much as she put hers in him…isn't that what a father was…isn't that what a father did.

Hardison remained silent. He merely stared at Nate with eyes that spoke volumes. He would not believe that Nate could leave. He would not allow himself to believe it.

Nate stared at the young woman after her words. He could feel the tears pricking at his eyes at what she had said. It had taken a lot for her to say it he knew. He could feel Hardisons fixed stare on him, the man had said nothing yet Nate knew what he felt. Eliot and Sophie's eyes also bored into him demanding he respond to their arguments, demanding he submit to their logic. "You're right. I can't just up and abandon you. You are right." Nate said thoughtfully. They were right, but he was also right and he would not be swayed from his course…though he was going to be a little delayed in his plans. His eyes swept over the group before he continued. "It would be irresponsible of me to just leave you. The fact is though, that you will all be better off without me." Nate again held up his hand to stop the protests. "It is only a matter of time before…well…before it ends badly. But you are right, I can't just abandon you, you are my team, and yes my family, my only family, so…"

"So you're staying." Parker said her voice buoyant for the first time in days.

"Yes Parker I am staying..." Nate stood from the table and collected a bottle of whiskey and a glass from the kitchen before turning back to them. "Until we find you a new mastermind…" He finished his sentence and then disappeared into his room again before any of the stunned foursome could say anything more.

**Thank you all very much for your reviews…they are truly appreciated. I will try to post the next chapter soon. Thanks again everybody.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

They sat in silence after Nate had dropped his bombshell. All of them a little shattered by what he had said. All of them except Sophie…she had a little smile on her face as she watched him walk into his room and close the door.

"What are you smiling at Sophie…he…he said he is leaving." Parker said to the Grifter confused by her expression.

"Yes Parker…but not now, right now he is staying and that gives us time. I was hoping it would. We need time to show him that he belongs here, no matter what he feels." Sophie said in explanation. This was what she had hoped would happen when Eliot had started down the road. It is why she had continued down it. She knew Nate was a stubborn man who would not easily change his mind. They might still lose him but at least now they had a fighting chance to make him stay. They had time, and she was sure that was all they needed. "Right now he has convinced himself that we would be better off without him. We need to convince him otherwise."

"Oh…" Parker said not quite getting how Sophie intended to do that, and not seeing how Nate saying he was still leaving was a good thing. But she was willing to go with anything the Grifter suggested as long as it meant Nate would stay.

"And just how are we supposed to do that…?" Hardison asked.

"That I still have to figure out." Sophie admitted. "One step at a time…for now he is staying and that is a start."

"He is a stubborn man Sophie…I don't see how we are going to get him to change his mind…once he has decided something well you know how he is." Eliot said dejectedly.

"You're right Eliot. But remember one thing. He cares about us more than he is willing to admit. Yes he as a rule follows through with his decisions. But there are exceptions…and we are one of those." Sophie said to the Hitter.

"Huh…? Like what exceptions Sophie, what are you talking about?" Hardison asked trying to think back to a time that Nate changed his mind on something because of them.

"He did not pull the trigger." Sophie said as if that explained everything.

"Maybe…but he still killed them." Eliot reminded her.

"No Eliot, he did not kill either of them. He simply gave them a choice…one which could have ended very badly for him too." Sophie said thinking of that terrible day not so long ago at the dam. "If we had not been there…well I think he would have killed them. He didn't because we didn't want him to, not because he did not want to."

"Yeah but he messed with their heads enough to get them to try to kill each other and…well they did." Hardison said also thinking back to the events on at Bellington Dam.

"Hardison he put the gun down, yes on the edge, yes after building them up to suspect each other, to not trust each other, but that had not been the original plan. He intended to kill them with his fathers' gun, to get revenge. He decided not to go through with it because he knew we did not want him too. Now they could just as easily have taken that gun and killed him…thank the lord they didn't…but they could have. He was willing to risk that so that we did not have to watch him turn into a murderer, because we did not want him too." Sophie said trying to explain it how she saw it. Nate did not want to lose them, that was why he had not gone through with his plans for revenge. The fact that both Latimer and Dubenich were dead by their own hands was not to be laid at Nate's door, although she had to admit that he played a role.

"Sophie even if you are right…what more can we say to make him understand…I mean we've practically begged him not to go." Eliot reminded her.

"Right…you are right. We just have to show him how much he is needed." Sophie said. She was not exactly sure how they were going to accomplish that but they had to try.

"Well his biggest fear is losing us…getting us hurt or killed during a con. Maybe we can use that." Eliot said thoughtfully. Sophie was right; they had to show Nate, talking was not going to do the trick that much was clear.

"Right…but how? We have to be careful not to push him too far either." Sophie replied. "He is on the precipice right now. He is still dealing with the emotional fall out of his returned memories, as well as his feelings about us. I am sure that he blames himself more for Sam's death now than before, and the same goes about what happened to Jimmy. That is weighing on his mind. Then there is us. His feelings about us...he is trying to do the right thing in his mind. If he feels that he has failed again, if we push too far then…well I don't even want to contemplate what the repercussions could be."

"I don't like this…I have a bad feeling about this…there must be another way." Hardison said. "How we going to do this thing…make him see he is needed by using one of us potentially getting hurt in a con…it's just plain stupid."

"You got a better idea man…if you do say so." Eliot said to the Hacker. He did not like where Sophie was going either, but talking was not going to make this work that was for sure. Damn the man for being a stubborn ass.

"Maybe if we let him leave he would come to his senses." Hardison said softly. "Maybe if we did not fight so hard to keep him here…once he was out there and alone, well he will realize how much he missed us and come back…I mean…YOU came back didn't you." Hardison said looking directly at Sophie.

Sophie stared at the Hacker…he was right, maybe they were just fighting too hard to keep Nate here with them. She had come back…but for Nate more than the rest of them. Yes they meant the world to her but she loved Nate. He had needed her and she would do anything for him…that was it. An idea sprang into her head, a little of what Hardison had suggested and what she had thought all along. "I have an idea guys…"

**What do you think Sophie has in mind? Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will be updating soon hopefully. Thanks again for all the kind words they are really appreciated.**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Four days later the team found themselves watching Nate leave the Leverage HQ. It had taken four days for them to get Tara to Portland. Sophie had put her idea into motion the day after Nate had declared that he would leave as soon as they had found a replacement for him. Nate was in the kitchen getting a drink when Sophie and Tara made their appearance.

"Hello Nate." Tara greeted as she entered the room. The other three members of the team made their appearance at about the same time. Nate looked from one to the other and then back at Tara.

"Tara." Nate acknowledged then threw a quizzical look at Sophie.

"Tara has agreed to be our new grifter." Sophie explained.

"Why…you going somewhere…?" Nate asked a little confused by the turn of events.

"No Nate. You are. I am going to assume the role of Mastermind and Tara is going to well, do my thing." Sophie said watching with a little amusement and a tinge of disappointment at Nate's expression. She knew that Nate trusted her but still; she could see that he was concerned about her taking over the helm of the team.

"Sophie…"

"Nate, you don't have a say in this. Sophie ran the crew quite admirably while you were in prison remember…? We trust her and we trust Tara. You want to leave; well now you can." Eliot said before Nate could continue with his questioning of their decision.

"I know Sophie is capable but…"

"But what man. You don't care. You're leaving remember. So just go then." Hardison putting a little disgust and anger in his voice as he had been instructed to by Sophie.

The plan was to get Nate to leave straight away while he was still unsure that the team was going to be alright. They had to get Nate to believe that he would be leaving the team vulnerable for this to work. They had to continue to play on his guilt that they had had nurtured four days prior. Hardison did not have to try too hard to get just the right attitude. He was angry with Nate; he was a little disgusted that Nate would actually leave them, no matter how he felt.

"Fine…This is what you want. Then fine." Nate said turning on his heel and heading to his room.

After Nate's door had closed a collective breath was let out by the group of five in the room.

"Well the ball is rolling." Sophie said quietly.

"Yeah…now we just have to hope it goes right." Eliot agreed. He was still uneasy about this plan. Nate was the best conman he knew and you can't con a conman.

A few minutes later Nate emerged from his room carrying a small suitcase. He walked to the door then turned around to face the group.

"I…I am sorry…I…" He could not get the words he wanted to out and closed his mouth. His eyes wondered from Parker who looked lost to Hardison who looked angry. "It has been an honor and a pleasure…you guys…"

"Just get on with it Nate. We don't want to hear it OK. This is hard enough. Just go." Eliot spat at him, he was playing his part a little too well Sophie thought seeing the hurt look appear on Nate's face.

"Goodbye…" Nate almost whispered before turning and walking out.

"Well he is gone…" Parker said softly watching from the window as Nate climbed into a taxi outside the restaurant and drive away. Every instinct in her body told her to run after him, to bring him back. She looked at Sophie with a pleading gaze.

"Don't worry Parker; he'll be back…he will." Sophie said hoping she did not sound as unsure as she felt. "Right we have a lot still to do…Hardison have you procured a client for us?" Sophie asked the Hacker.

"Yeah man…it's all in place you just have to provide the human component." Hardison confirmed. He had put together a profile of a very nasty CEO who was ripping off his employees' pension funds to fund his gambling habits. There was also the mob component so all in all a very dangerous venture for Leverage Inc. They had decided not to take on a real bad guy. In a real situation it would not be easy enough to control the events to serve their purposes so they had to set up a con.

"OK…this has to be perfect. No mistakes, if Nate suspects this is a setup…well I don't have to tell you that this isn't going to end well." Sophie said to the group.

"So what is the plan? I mean I get the con, but Nate is gone…" Tara asked Sophie not quite understanding how this was all going to work.

"Well he won't go far. If I know him he will stay around, keeping out of site, but keeping tabs on us." Sophie said. Her plan hinged on her idea that Nate would not feel comfortable with her taking over the team. It was not that Nate did not trust her or her abilities. It was just that he would feel that somebody like Starke would be a better fit as Mastermind. Sophie was a Grifter not a Mastermind. She was counting on their conversation a few nights ago to get him to feel guilty for leaving them without somebody who was used to covering all their bases. Having backup plans for backup plans like he did. She was counting on him sticking around at least for a while until he was sure they were alright with the new arrangement.

"What if it doesn't work…?" Parker asked in a small voice filled with angst.

"It will Parker…it has too." Sophie replied. "Eliot did you get what we need?" Sophie asked the Hitter.

"Yeah…a few friends who had nothing to do for the next few days…Nate won't recognize any of them." Eliot affirmed that the muscle for the 'Mark' was in place.

"Tara?" Sophie asked her friend. "You get a 'Mark'?"

"Yeah he will be in town day after tomorrow. Somebody Nate doesn't know I am sure of it." Tara replied. Sophie had asked her to recruit somebody from out of town to play the 'Mark' in the con.

"Problem is Sophie if you are right…Nate is going to be watching us. How do we set this whole thing up without him knowing we are playing him?" Eliot asked. He was still not sure how they were going to pull this off. Nate was not going to be easily fooled and if he picked up that the team were conning him, especially in this way…well the fallout would be epic.

"If we do it the way I planned he will never know. Eliot we have to make this work. So…we have a lot to do still…shall we get cracking?' Sophie replied. She was scared as well but could not let her apprehension show, especially not in front of Parker.

Once all of them were off on their own little missions Eliot brought Sophie a glass of wine and sat down beside her. "Sophie…what's wrong?" He asked as he sipped his beer. Something was up and he was not sure what, she seemed so confident in her plan, now he was not so sure she was.

"What if I am wrong Eliot? I could be wrong and then we have let him walk away and we will never see him again."

Silence followed her words. Eliot was also worried about the plan, but not for the same reasons she was. He was worried that Nate would pick up that the whole thing was a set up. He had no doubt he would be around watching.

"I came back because…because I…"

"Love him." Eliot finished for her.

"Yes…that and I missed all of you." Sophie agreed. "But what if he does not feel…if I misread…if…"

"Sophie darlin' he loves you. You don't have to be clairvoyant to know that. Hell I knew that from the first job. And he cares for all of us. We are his family, he would not have said that if he did not mean it and you know it. But he will be watching over you…he will come back for you. Just like you came back to save him, if he sees you are in any danger…he'll come charging in I guarantee it." Eliot smiled at her and patted her on her arm. "Well I gotta get my guys ready. You better get your stuff done too. We have two days to set this up and we have to do everything under the radar." Eliot said getting up to go.

"Thank you Eliot…for backing me in this…and well…"

"We're family Sophie…it's what family do." Eliot smiled at her and then left to do his part in the plan.

"Right you are Eliot Spencer. Well let's go put our family back together."

**Do you think that the team will be able to fool Nate into thinking it is a real con and that they are in enough danger that he needs to intervene. What if Nate did not stick around as Sophie thought he would. This could go any which way. I will try to update again soon. Thank you for your reviews, please keep them coming.**


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Nate sat in the taxi staring out of the window. Tara joining the crew…Sophie being Mastermind…what were they thinking. Sophie could run a job, hell they all could, they all had before. Each of them was quite capable of running a con. The difference was that they had never run a crew. They had never had to consider all the aspects relating to each one's job. He had plans and backup plans and plans to back those up. He was constantly changing his plans according to the situation. He knew that Sophie would also try to do that, but she was no Mastermind. Not on the kind of cons they pulled off. Hell he was surprised he had pulled of some of the cons. He could not leave them, not like this; not without being one hundred percent sure they were going to be alright. He leaned forward and told the driver he no longer wanted to go to the airport and gave him a new address. He also had a safe house, one none of them knew about. He would stay there and keep an eye on them, just until he was sure they were going to ok. He would be around but just until they had successfully completed at least one job.

He thought back to the last few minutes with them. They were angry with him that was clear. He was not surprised, he did not blame them. He was deserting them, running away from his family. It was something he thought he would never do even if it was for the best. It still hurt though. He could still feel the cold eyes of Eliot on him when he had said he must just leave. Hardisons disappointment and disgust and even anger had been clear to him. Only Parker looked sad at his leaving, even Sophie had had a hard look on her face. It was his fault really, he could not blame them. His reaction to Maggie's death and then everything that had happened after that, he would have told himself to go. They still did not understand that if he stayed it would inevitably cause them harm. Well, he was going, but not before he was sure that they were ok…that they would be alright without him.

The cab pulled up at the address he had given, he paid the driver and walked into the building. It was an old warehouse type building and his apartment was on the top floor. He had not really had time to do the place up yet but it did have the bare essentials he would need. He would not be staying that long anyway he thought. He sat down on the sofa and poured himself a whiskey. He had no idea how he was going to do this. How was he going to keep tabs on them? He smiled to himself…he was not used to being alone…to having to do this on his own. He had been quite good at it at one time, but he had become reliant on them, on his Hacker and his Thief, Hitter and Grifter. He had chased them all during his time with IYS. He had been able to track them, keep tabs on them; well except maybe for Parker…it was just luck when he found her. He sat back and closed his eyes running his hand across his face. The one thing he thought he would have going for him was that they would not expect him to stick around. They would not be looking for him. He would not be able to plant any bugs…Hardison had the place quite secure on that front, he might be able to tap into the system that Hardison had installed if he could get into the building. He had kept his keys so getting in would not be a problem; he would just have to wait for all of them to be out. He was not sure if Hardison would be able to pick up on a tap into the system, but it was a chance he had to take. If the Hacker did, well at least that would put them on high alert and that was never a bad thing.

Two days later Nate had his chance. They were all out of the Leverage HQ, all of them down in the restaurant area meeting with a client. He took his chance and got into the building easily. Quickly he made his way to the computer banks in the offices that Hardison used for security and surveillance. He was not an expert at this but had picked up a few things from Hardison during the last five years. He worked as quickly as he could tapping into the surveillance cameras and the other bugs that Hardison himself had planted around the place. They were not usually active…only because all of them had complained that the Hacker was invading their privacy…but Hardison had insisted on keeping them for emergencies. He activated them and then made his way back out of the place. Nate felt quite pleased with himself when he got back to his place and made sure that the devices were active and that he would be able to see and hear everything that went on in the planning room. That had not been as difficult as he thought it would be. He had not lost his touch he thought wryly taking a sip of his drink and staring at the screen which showed the empty offices. Now all he had to do was wait and watch.

Down in the restaurant area Sophie and the rest sat with one of Sophie's new students who was acting as the 'Client'. Hardison looked up from his IPad and smiled at Sophie.

"He's been and gone…tapped his way into all the surveillance…I'm quite impressed, didn't know Nate had the skills man." The Hacker told the group. They had deliberately left the offices, giving Nate time to do his thing. They knew he would have to try to get into the system Hardison had set up, it was the only way he was going to be able to keep tabs on them.

"Well then…Let's give him something to worry about." Sophie said standing and leading them all back up to the offices.

**Now the fun begins…I know I keep saying it but thank you all so much for your reviews, I really do appreciate them very much.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Nate watched as they filed into the room. Hardison immediately started his briefing. Nate watched as he laid out the details of the 'mark' and what he had done to harm the 'client'. He nodded intermittently at comments made by Eliot and Tara acknowledging silently to himself that they were considering the same course of action he would take in the case. Then his brows knotted in concern as Sophie laid out her plan and more importantly who was going to assume which roles in the plan. It was a good plan he had to admit, but dangerous. He also noted that Sophie had not completely taken into consideration the danger from the mob element of the equation. She had just 'written them off' so to speak as a by-product that they would not really have to deal with. In her plan, the mob would be more interested in the 'mark' than in them. Nate knew better. Never underestimate the Mob. He was really worried when Eliot went along with the plan. He was sure the Hitter would point out Sophie's obvious flaw in the plan but he didn't.

"_Dammit Eliot…if it was me making the plan you would have said something…it's your job to see all the angles when it comes to the security of the team…" _Nate muttered to himself as he watched Sophie put the final touches to the plan and then say his tagline…."Let's go steal a…"

He was right he thought: Sophie was not ready for this. She was not ready to run a crew, not on these types of jobs. Eliot should know better though, but he supposed that was also due to the situation, due to his own actions. Eliot would not want to shoot Sophie's plan down, not under the current circumstances. Parker and Hardison would go along with anything she suggested, even if they were uncomfortable, because they trusted her as much as they had trusted him. Either one of them would have walked through the doors of Hell itself if he had told them too and it was the same with Sophie. He watched as the five of them filed out of the room, he presumed to go do their assigned tasks. Staring at the screen which held only an image of the now empty room, Nate felt torn. He should go down there and tell them they were headed for disaster; that somebody was going to get hurt. He should but he couldn't. He had left them. He had walked away not them. They had told him that they would continue doing what they did with or without him and he had still walked away. Now he could not just go back, even if every fiber of his being told him too. It was too late. He had chosen his course, now he had to live with the consequences of that decision.

Getting up Nate walked through to the kitchen and grabbed another bottle of his favorite scotch. His thoughts were in turmoil. If he did not intervene one of the team, one of his family was going to get hurt, of that much he was sure. Maybe even killed…he shuddered at the thought. How could he allow that, and yet, how could he go back. After everything he had done and said…he could not go back. They were his family though and he could not stand idly by while they got in over their heads. If something did go wrong, he would be just as responsible as if he had planned it himself. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. How had he gotten himself into this situation? He should have just kept going when he had walked out the door. He had made the decision to leave after all. He had decided that they would be better off without him. He had been adamant about it, they had tried everything to make him see reason but he had refused. He was beginning to doubt his decision. These people meant more to him than anything else in the world. He cared for them as much as he had cared for Maggie or...Sam. The realization hit him hard. He had been a complete fool turning his back on them the way he had. It would be the same as if he had turned his back on his sick son. If he had walked away because it was too hard to go through what he had with Sam. It was different but the same. He had turned his back on his family who had desperately tried to show him how much they needed him, how much they loved and cared for him. He had turned a deaf ear, choosing not to listen. He ran his mind over the events since they had brought him home. In his mind's eye he saw the look on Parker's face when he had told them he did not want them. Saw the hurt there, something he had chosen not to see then. He recalled all the times he had rebuffed Sophie's attempts to show him how much he meant to her, to them. He had been too caught up in his own misery. He remembered all their words, their pleas to him to stay. His eyes burned with unshed tears as he remembered his own harsh words to them. How he had spurned them. How could he have been such a fool? He looked down at the bottle of whiskey that stood before him and smiled a sad smile. It was too late now, the damage was done. They were done with him, that much was evident by the way he had left, the way they had literally thrown him out. They were done with him and it was his own fault. He had pushed them too far. There was only so much a person could take before they reached their breaking point. He had pushed them too that limit with his self-centeredness. He had only thought of himself and HIS fears; HIS misery. He had neglected theirs. Now he had to pay the price for that selfishness. He had to accept that he had lost not only one family but two. He had thrown away something that meant more to him than he had even realized until now. Picking up the bottle he poured himself a glass and drank it down quickly.

"_But I'll be damned if they have to pay the price too."_ He muttered to himself as he poured another drink. Somehow I will get them through this job. Then, well then nothing really matters…he thought morbidly as he downed another glass of the fiery liquid.

**Hope you enjoyed. All reviews are greatly appreciated.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

The team went about their business. They set up a fake office where they met with the 'mark' and set their plans in motion. They all knew that making this as real as possible was the key to getting Nate to get involved. Sophie made sure that they made the little mistakes that Nate would definitely pick up and be concerned about. Although there was no danger to themselves, this was the hardest job they had ever taken on. The danger they knew was losing Nate forever and the motivation to make this work was high.

On the fourth day of the ruse Sophie was close to breaking.

"Why hasn't he intervened yet…I mean…Eliot we have been in 'danger' on a number of occasions with the mark and he hasn't shown up." Sophie said to the Hitter.

"I don't know darlin'…" Eliot replied also amazed at Nate's absence. He had been sure that Nate would come to their rescue when he saw the plan was not working the way it should. They knew Nate had been keeping track of them; the mere fact that he had bugged the office was proof of that. Why he had not come to the fore yet he could not say.

"I don't know either." Sophie said softly. She was worried. Not only about Nate and where he could be, but especially about Parker. As the days passed and Nate did not appear to 'save' them she could see Parker becoming more and more dejected. If Nate was watching he would also see that, what would he read into it she wondered? Sophie sighed deeply as she tried to think like Nate would.

"What if he doesn't come back Eliot, what if this was all for nothing, what if…?"

"That's a lot of what if's Sophie." Eliot said looking at the older woman and feeling her pain. "I mean why would he have gone to the trouble of bugging the place if he wasn't going to be looking out for us?" He asked her. "I mean he wouldn't do that. No Sophie he is out there, we just have to make sure he thinks the only way he can help is to get personally involved. Make him have to show himself."

"How do we do that…I mean we have put ourselves in life threatening situations and he has not come." Sophie said then bowed her head slightly tears forming in her eyes. " Oh Eliot…I just…why must we do this anyway." Sophie suddenly said anger in her voice. "I mean, he doesn't want us right. We can live without him. We can go on without him. We don't need him." She continued and Eliot could see that she was now getting quite worked up. "We are all quite capable of going on without him. You would think that…that…"

"That we loved him?" Eliot smiled at the woman as she stared at him. "We do you know…I mean you LOVE him but we…well he is family. A foreign concept to all of us I know, but when we started out on this five years ago and then pulled him back in four years ago…well it was inevitable."

"So what do we do?" Sophie asked having suddenly lost all her anger again.

"We wait…we follow the plan…that's all we can do." Eliot said standing up from the edge of the bed they were sitting on. "Come on; let's go get some food…Hardison ordered pizza." Eliot said as he led Sophie out and towards the kitchen.

When they got into the kitchen Hardison and Parker were seated at the table staring at his laptop in horror.

"Hardison what's wrong?" Eliot asked immediately picking up on the atmosphere and taking in the expressions on both the younger members of the teams faces.

"I don't know…but I think…I think we may have got Nate killed." Hardison said looking up from his laptop with absolute terror showing on his face.

"What do you mean man…Hardison?" Eliot said now alarmed, he moved quickly to stand behind the Hacker and the Thief to see what they were looking at on the screen. Sophie had also moved behind the two also alarmed not only by Hardison's words but the fear on their faces.

"Hardison where is this feed coming from…?" Eliot asked the Hacker urgently. Hardison looked up at Eliot but did not answer immediately. "Dammit Hardison…where…?" Eliot almost shouted.

"Our 'fake' offices!" Hardison said shakily Eliot's shout bringing him out of his state of shock at what he had just witnessed on the video feed.

"Right…" Eliot said moving at speed to get the keys to the car. He needed to get there and now. Nate had appeared damn him and he was about to get himself killed.

"Eliot…what?" Sophie said unable to take her eyes of the scene that was playing out on the screen.

"Sophie get my guys…get them and get over there…and get an ambulance too." Eliot said as he disappeared through the door.

"Sophie…why…why is Nate there?...What is he doing?…I don't get it." Parker said as Sophie grabbed for the phone to do as Eliot had instructed.

"Because Parker we made a mistake. We made a stupid mistake." Sophie said then spoke quickly to the person who answered her call. Hanging up she grabbed her car keys and ran for the door followed by the other two. Hardison had called 911 while Sophie spoke to Eliot's friends who were helping them on the job. He gave them the address and told them that there was a man in need of medical attention. He did not give them any more detail; he did not want them to notify the police as well. They did not need to deal with the local law now. "Please let us be in time…oh please let Eliot get there in time." Sophie whispered to herself as they made it too the car and she gunned the engine into life.

**What trouble do you think Nate is in now…what mistake could the team have made in their planning. I will post the next chapter as soon as possible. Thanks to all of you great guys for reviewing…it really means a lot to me to know what you all think of my story. Please keep them coming.**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Nate doubled over in pain as the meaty fist slammed into his stomach again. He was not sure what was happening. All he had wanted to do was steer the guy away from the team and towards the 'mark'. But something was wrong, something was very wrong. The man did not seem to know who the 'mark' was or what he was talking about at all.

"You wanting to con ME you son of a…" The man said emphasizing his words with hard punches to Nate's body and face. "You gonna learn that nobody cons me…you get that…nobody cons ME." He said landing another solid blow to Nate's stomach. The two men holding him let go at their bosses nod, and Nate dropped to the ground in pain.

"I…I…wasn't…trying…to…" Nate tried to get out but before he could say anymore one of the big Italian's men landed a kick to Nate's body knocking the wind out of him and breaking a rib. Nate found it difficult to breath and just lay curled up on the floor.

"Now you are going to find out what happens to people who try to con me." The big Italian said taking out his gun and pointing it at Nate.

Just then Eliot burst into the room running straight for the big Italian. He dived into the man knocking him aside as he pulled the trigger. The bullet went harmlessly into the ceiling and Eliot and the man went down in a heap. The suddenness of the attack threw the other three men in the room and in the time they took to realize what was happening Eliot was on his feet again and going for them. The whole affair lasted only a few minutes and then the room became silent.

"Nate…Nate…" Eliot said as he made his way over to the prone form of Nate. Nate looked up at Eliot with pain filled eyes. He had taken quite a beating and his head was spinning. He also could not quite figure out what had happened or what Eliot was doing there.

"Eliot…" Nate said in confusion as the Hitter knelt beside him.

"Yeah Nate take it easy now…" Eliot said as Nate tried to sit up. That was the wrong thing for him to do as a wave of dizziness hit him and he fell back into Eliot's arms and then promptly passed out.

"Nate…Oh no…Eliot?" Sophie called as she made her way into the room along with Eliot's friends.

"He's ok…just passed out." Eliot reassured her as she came to a halt staring at Nate's limp form. He looked up at his friends and smiled. "Sorry…didn't need you guys." He said to them. They nodded and left the room, Eliot obviously did not need them here.

"We need to get out of here…I called 911 and they'll be here any minute." Hardison said as he and Parker burst through the door.

"Right, Hardison get the van." Eliot instructed as he stood and lifted the unconscious form of Nate and threw him over his shoulder in the fireman's carry. "Let's get out of here." He said as he headed for the door closely followed by Sophie and Parker.

Once they got home Eliot carried Nate into his bedroom and started checking his injuries. Apart from a few broken and cracked ribs, some severe bruising on his stomach and kidneys and a black eye he seemed fine.

"He'll be out for a while, but he's fine otherwise. A few cracked ribs and bruising…but not too bad considering." Eliot informed the team as they stood around the bed watching Eliot work. "He's going to be out for a while though." He pulled the blankets over Nate and ushered the others out of the room. Sophie held back and after they had exited made her way to Nate's side. Bending down she laid a soft kiss on his forehead and ran her hand through his hair. Then she made her way out of the room to join the others in the living area.

"What the hell was that…?" Hardison asked nobody in particular once they were all seated.

"I don't know man…what was he thinking?" Eliot responded looking at Sophie for the answer.

"He was thinking he was protecting us." Sophie said.

"Huh…what do you mean Sophie?" Parker asked confused by the older woman's response.

"Well Parker we planned this con to the tee…we had everything covered. Hardison though also threw in the Mob angle and we did not address that in the plan." Sophie said in explanation.

"Makes sense, that was Joe Pilatchi…one of the biggest mobsters in Portland." Eliot nodded as he started putting the pieces together.

"Yes, we made a mistake…we planned everything, thinking that Nate would show up when we were in trouble with the 'mark' but he saw our mistake. He was trying to…well in truth I don't know what he was hoping to do." Sophie sighed.

"He was trying to save us…he still cares…" Parker said as she contemplated what Sophie had said. "He came back to save us."

"Yes Parker he did." Sophie confirmed a small smile playing on her lips. It was the first time since this whole thing started that Parker had that wispy light Parkerish sound in her voice.

"Well we will have to ask him what his plan was when he wakes up." Eliot said.

"Damn right." Hardison said, he was still a little shaken up by the whole thing. Nate had almost been killed. If Eliot had not arrived in the nick of time he would be lying back there in that office with a bullet through his brain.

"The main thing is he is here. When he wakes up we will deal with the rest." Sophie said suddenly very tired. It seemed as if it had been years since she last slept and she could see on the faces of the others that the strain of the last few weeks and particularly the last few hours had taken their toll. "Why don't we all try and get some sleep."

"But what if Nate wakes up while we are asleep?" Parker asked quickly. She was not going to take the chance that Nate would wake while they were sleeping and slip away again.

"He's not going to wake up any time soon Parker. And besides…I don't think he will leave again." Eliot reassured the Thief.

"Why don't you all go get some rest and I'll stand guard." Tara said. She had entered the room unnoticed and had been listening to the conversation. "I promise I won't let him leave Parker." She said as they all looked at her with surprise.

"Great…it's settled then." Eliot said nodding at the woman. They were all tired, actually they were all exhausted, the fact that Tara could get in unnoticed was a sure sign.

"Come on girl…Nate's not going anywhere tonight." Hardison said pulling Parker up from the sofa and leading her towards their bedroom.

"Tara…" Sophie started to say.

"Sophie, get some sleep. You to Eliot, go…I promise he will still be here in the morning." Tara cut her off.

Eliot and Sophie nodded to her and made their way to their rooms. Sophie stopped off at Nate's and checked that he was still asleep. Tomorrow would be interesting she thought. Either Nate would take his leave or he would stay. This would come to an end though one way or another. If he still wanted to leave, well they were not going to stop him. She hoped he would not want to leave, she hoped this had opened his eyes to the fact that he could not leave them, just as they had not been able to let him leave. Well she thought; whatever happened she could do nothing about it until tomorrow. Closing the door gently she made her way to her room and fell onto her bed. Within minutes she was asleep along with the rest of the team.

**Do you think Nate will stay even though he thinks the team does not want him anymore? What do you think his reaction will be when he finds out they had tried to con him and that it had almost got him killed? I will try to get the next installment up as soon as possible. Thank you so very much for your reviews…Please let me know what you thought of this chapter. I really look forward to hearing what you all think of the stories progression.**


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Nate came back to consciousness slowly. His whole body was sore and the memory of the previous evening came back to him. Eliot must have brought him back to HQ because he realized he was in his room there. He lay back in the bed and cast his mind back to the previous day's events. He had planned it quite well he had thought, and if the threat had been real it would have worked out well. He realized now that there had been no 'mark'. Pilatchi had no idea who he was talking about or anything about the 'deal' he had with the 'mark'. He smiled ruefully as he thought of how that had happened. It was a set up…the team had set him up. Now that he thought about it, they had set him up from the start. Getting into the security system here had been way too easy, he had picked up quite a bit from Hardison over the last few years, but who was he kidding? Hardison not realizing that their security had been compromised should also have been a neon sign to him that something was not right. He had been blind, he was too intent on looking out for them that he had missed the obvious signs that he was being conned. Now that he thought about the entirety of the 'con' they had been doing, he realized that they had put little things out there for him to pick up on. Sophie missing certain things, things that would place the team in danger was one of them. Eliot not being his overprotective self in respect to the dangers Sophie was exposing the team to was another. He sighed heavily as he realized that they had set this up to see if he would come back to them. Now that he thought about it, the whole play when he left, the undisguised anger at him and the way they had pushed him out the door. They had of course succeeded. He had been too invested in making sure they were alright that he had not picked up on the cues. Why though had they let it go as far as it did with the Italian? He was within seconds of being killed; Eliot had really cut that fine. Leaving the Mob angle unattended to had been genius…no not genius he suddenly realized, a mistake. He thought back on all the times during the 'con' that either Sophie or a member of the team had been in danger from the 'mark'. He was meant to intervene there, not with the Italians.

He closed his eyes as he heard his door being quietly opened. He did not want to talk to them just yet so he feigned sleep. He felt somebody…Sophie, he recognized her scent, lean over him. She ran her hand gently through his hair. He felt her soft lips touch his forehead and had to force himself not to reach out and pull her down to him. He opened his eyes again as he heard the door close. Nate stared at the closed door and sighed heavily, wincing slightly at the pain it brought from his injuries. Sighing softly again he closed his eyes, contemplating what his next move should be.

Sophie and Eliot were the first up. Sophie stopped in at Nate's room to check on him before going to the kitchen. Nate was still asleep and she decided that waking him would not be the best idea.

"He still asleep…? Eliot asked as she entered the kitchen.

"Yes…should we wake him, I mean he has been out for a long time and if he has concussion…?" Sophie asked the Hitter.

"No, he'll be fine. Probably best to let him sleep it off." Eliot replied as he started to prepare breakfast.

Parker and Hardison made their appearances a few minutes later. Parker made a bee line for her cereal and Hardison for the coffee.

"Hey…where's Tara?" Parker asked.

"Sleeping on the sofa..." Eliot told her.

"What…well so much for standing guard…" Parker said disdainfully, then in a small voice added a question she was not sure she wanted the answer to.

"Don't worry Parker, Nate is still sleeping in his room…I checked." Sophie said much to their Thief's relief.

Parker looked at the older woman then nodded and went on with eating her dry cereal. Soon Eliot was finished with breakfast and they all sat down at the table.

"Is there room for one more?" Nate asked startling them all.

"Always…" Sophie said pulling out a chair for him. His place had already been set…Parker had made sure it was, mumbling something about it being 'just in case' when Eliot had asked what she was doing.

Nate smiled at Sophie and moved slowly to his seat. His whole body hurt and he sat gratefully at the table. He looked around at his team who were all staring at him.

"We going to eat…I am starving." Nate said to them, he was not ready for confrontation and he was rather hungry.

Eliot nodded and quickly dished up a plate for him, placing it in front of him before retaking his seat.

"Mmm this is good Eliot, really good." Nate said approvingly as he took a bite. He was fully aware that Parker's gaze was still fixed on him. Hardison and the rest had also started to eat though. "Parker…let's eat first." Nate said looking up from his plate to the Thief. Parker nodded in response and silently started eating.

Once the meal was done, the plates cleared and coffee served, Nate looked around the table and drew a deep breath before starting to speak.

"So you all thought it was a good idea to run a con on me and try to get me killed." Nate said to the group. Nate sat back and listened to all of them talk over each other trying to explain what had happened. Silence suddenly fell at Parkers last words.

"You left…we couldn't let you do that."

Nate looked at her intently. She had such a sad look on her face that Nate's heart almost broke. He now finally saw how much pain he had caused her by leaving. He shook his head slightly at himself…he had been a selfish bastard.

"You are right Parker… I left…" Nate said looking at each of them individually before continuing. "I should not have done that…and I'm…sorry." Nate said his voice filled with the shame he felt. Silence met his statement. They did not know what to make of it, did that mean he was sorry he had left and he was not going to do it again, or did it mean that he was sorry he had left but it was what he had to do and he would be leaving again. "But I thought I was doing the right thing." Nate continued.

"And now…?" Sophie whispered afraid of what he was going to say.

Nate looked at her intently. It was a fair question but Nate did not know how to respond. He knew he wanted to stay. He knew they wanted him to stay. Still, in the back of his mind he thought it would not be a good idea if he did. Looking around the table he weighed his options. If he left this time there would be no coming back. They would not pursue him, he could see that in both Eliot's and Sophie's eyes. If he stayed, he could be placing them in danger, he was a danger, not only to himself but to them. He was an alcoholic who got too involved when it came to the job and placed them in jeopardy all the time. Add to that he was bad luck, he brought only death to his loved one's either through accident or illness or just downright carelessness. It would just take one mistake, one error on his part and one of them would suffer the consequences. Was it fair for him to stay here with them? Was it fair to leave? He looked at Sophie and his heart melted, he loved her more than anything; he could admit that to himself. He looked at Hardison, a young man who had grown into a good man, a man he saw so much of himself in. He looked at Parker who even though she was older than Hardison was so much younger emotionally, she was just beginning to discover her feelings, her emotions. She was just starting to really and truly trust and rely on her team. He looked at Eliot. A man he respected immensely, a man who he considered closer than a brother. He would die for any one of these people, and they would probably die for him he realized. How could he leave them…how could he not.

"Guys…I…" Nate hesitated slightly before continuing, he had made up his mind and consequences be damned. This is what he wanted, what he needed to do. He bent his head and drew a deep breath before continuing.

**What do you think Nate's decision is? Do you think the team will accept it if he has decided to leave? I am sorry for the delay in posting this chapter, I was in the Kruger Park on holiday. I will post again as soon as possible. Thank you all for your reviews, stella, Sphinx, NashNurse and Gorgolo Chick as well as Carebear818 and Leveragus…you guys are wonderful…**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Nate drew a deep breath and looked up at the anxious faces of his team, his family.

"I am sorry. I realize now that what I did, what I have been doing for the last…well since…since Maggie, well it was wrong. You guys are my family, my only family. I hurt you, all of you and I am sorry." Nate blew out a breath and looked up to the ceiling trying to compose himself before continuing.

"Nate…" Sophie started but Nate held his hand up to stop her.

"I need to say this Sophie, just let me." Nate said to her, he wanted to get this all out; he wanted to make them understand. Sophie nodded and sat back in her chair waiting with the others for him to continue.

"I guess I was afraid. I was afraid to lose any one of you. I don't think I could handle it if any one of you were ever…if any one of you...Well, what I mean is, I felt that you all would be safer if I was not around. The fact is that my family is dead. My…my son, my father, my wife…"

"Ex-wife." Sophie muttered causing Nate to smile slightly before continuing.

"My EX-wife…they are all dead. I convinced myself that the reason was me, that I was the common denominator, the reason for these things happening. I decided on my course of action because I did not want…do not ever want to be the cause of any of you being hurt…or…worse." Nate said softly, his voice hitching on the last word, the implication plain.

"You were being an idiot." Parker muttered. Nate stared at the young woman and smiled despite himself.

"Anyway, I have realized something through all of this." Nate stopped again, God this was hard. "I realized that as much as leaving you was what I thought was the right thing to do…as much as I still think that it would be the best thing to do…"

"Nate don't…" Sophie said softly dreading what he was going to say next.

Nate looked at the Grifter, he could feel her angst, her fear. "What I was going to say is…is that I was wrong. I was wrong because after this whole fiasco with your 'con' I admitted to myself what I should have realized from the beginning. You have all stood by me even though I have been a…"

"Selfish bastard." Eliot supplied for him.

Nate looked at his hitter and nodded his head in agreement. "Thank you Eliot." Nate said with a smile.

"A selfish bastard and a reckless one too. I have placed you all in danger at one time or another during cons. But you never backed away, you never let me down, you never…never left, even though you all probably should have. Even when you thought I was wrong, you stood by me. For that I have to thank you all." Nate looked again at each one of his team, looking them directly in the eye. "The fact is that leaving is the logical thing to do, the right thing to do. It would be the best thing for all of you."

"Now you really are being an idiot Nate." Hardison said staring directly at the older man. "You think it would be the 'right' thing…well for who…you? Not us, don't you get it man. You gave us each a new life, a good life, a life we are proud of. Yes it is dangerous, yes we could get killed. We all know that and we accept the dangers. Man you don't think our lives were dangerous before you came along, hell our lives are probably less dangerous now than then…I mean now we have you to...we have us…" Hardison gestured to the group who sat mesmerized by his sudden outburst. "Before we only had ourselves…now we have us, we have each other's backs, and that makes us safer than we ever were. Yes our work is dangerous you knew that from the beginning. Yes sometimes you…you go off the rails…you get out of control…but…but we are all still here aren't we. That is because you pull us through, no matter what…YOU Nate, you make sure we get through everything. You take the fall if that is what is needed. You make sure we are safe…You can say what you want man, you can tell yourself anything you want to but we are your family…you said it. You don't just walk out on your family man…that ain't right, or the best thing you could do…it's just plain wrong and you know it." Hardison said. He sat back in his chair his eyes swimming in tears some of which escaped and he swiped at them silently. He had said what he wanted to say…if Nate as going to leave well he should know that he was not doing it for them, he was doing it for himself, and only himself.

"Hardison is right Nate. Hell if we had not started this I don't know where I would be…but it would not be here, it would not be in a place where I can actually sleep at night. It would not be in a place where I could feel again…" Eliot cleared his throat fighting back the emotion that was threatening to overwhelm him. How did he make this man understand he had not only saved his life, he had given him a new one, one which he did not hate himself for living. "You want to leave…go ahead and leave…but don't ever say you are doing it for us, for me…'cause that is a lie and you know it."

"Remember what I said three years ago Nate…without 'us' we were all miserable. But more than that, none of us could go back to the lives we were living before you, before us. It took me walking away from you all for me to realize that I could not be happy without all of you in my life. Now if you want to walk away from this…from us…from me, then that is what you have to do. But Nate, you will not be doing it for me or Parker or Hardison or Eliot, no you will be doing it for yourself, for Nate Ford. You will be doing it so that you can…can go and wallow in your own…" Sophie stopped abruptly unable to continue as emotion and fear and anger overwhelmed her.

"Ok..Ok…enough." Nate said. "Enough. You have made your point. Now let me finish mine. I was going to say that you all have made me see that even though it IS the logical thing, probably the BEST thing I could do to walk away…it is not the right thing, not for me or for you. I need you, all of you. So if you all still want me, then I am not going anywhere." Nate told them. "I am sorry…I am so…"

Nate was interrupted as Parker flew from her seat and threw her arms around him. "I knew it. I knew we could make you see. I knew you could not leave us again, I knew it." Parker said as she hugged the Mastermind tightly. "Don't ever do that again Nate…you promise me Nate."

"I promise Parker…I promise with all my heart." Nate said hugging her back unable to hold back the tears that had threatened to fall for so long.

"Good then it is settled and we can get back to normal…?" Eliot said gruffly. "This is done."

"Yes Eliot…and…"

"Don't say it Nate, I don't need to hear it, just remember…you do this to us again and I'll break every bone in your body…get it."

"Got it." Nate said taking Eliot's proffered hand.

"Hardison…" Nate said looking to his Hacker.

"It's done. Forgotten, never going to happen again, ever right?" Hardison said also taking Nate's hand and shaking it.

Eliot looked to Parker and Hardison. "Hardison didn't you want to show us some…uh…some games or something…" Eliot said indicating to both of them that they needed to leave the Mastermind and the Grifter alone for a while.

"Nah man…no…"

"Dammit Haridson…"

"Don't be an idiot Hardison, Eliot wants us to leave Sophie and Nate alone."

Sophie looked at the young thief and smiled at her.

"Ok…well yeah…ok let's go then." Hardison said taking Parkers hand and leading her back into restaurant area, followed by Eliot who gave Nate a nod as he left.

"Sophie…"

"No apologies Nate. I don't need apologies." Sophie said looking at Nate her brown eyes boring into him.

"No apologies…" Nate said pulling her to her feet and into his body. He bent his head and kissed her softly on the lips. "No apologies…just…just confessions." Nate said kissing her again.

"I love you Sophie…I love you more than you will ever know and I should have told you that a long time ago. I was a coward. I was a fool."

"Oh Nate…" Sophie almost sobbed as she listened to the words that she had longed to hear for so long. This thing they had been doing for two years, this thing that she had gone along with because she had known that Nate was not ready to admit his feelings for her. It was now over; he had admitted it, to her, out loud. He loved her, he loved her and he was not going to leave her.

Nate looked down at her and wiped away the tears from her eyes. "I love you Sophie and I will never leave you again. As long as you want me Sophie, I will be right here…always." Nate whispered to her kissing her gently.

"You just remember that Nathan Ford…don't ever put me through that again…I could not survive it again." Sophie said running her hand through his hair and pulling him down for another passionate kiss.

"Never again my love..." Nate said between kisses. "Never again..."

**Well that is the end…I hope you enjoyed the story as much as I enjoyed writing it and that you are satisfied with the ending. Thank you all again for your lovely reviews…they really inspire me to keep writing. **


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